American drama -- 20th century; College graduates -- Drama; Depressions -- 1929 -- United States -- Drama
[_All this time_ TIPPY _has been wiping dog with one towel after
another. He now gets up and leads dog to yard._]
TIPPY. Now I must hang Itzy out to dry.
MARTIN. God, haven't you dried that cur enough?
TIPPY. Him must be ventilated so him will smell sweet. Him's mama
rubs her nose in him and her is very particular. [_He goes out with
dog_. MARTIN _begins picking up the strewn array of used towels_,
TIPPY _comes back._] Thanks, old man. [_Takes the towels._] Want to
dump the tub for me? [MARTIN _carries tub into kitchen,_ TIPPY
_continues cleaning up_. TED _enters with_ KATE. _She is richly
dressed and has the mink coat_, TED _has on a complete new outfit:
suit, hat shoes, topcoat. Everything. The coat is gray; suit
brown; hat gray. And there is a price tag on tail of overcoat._
TIPPY _stares in astonishment._] Do my eyes deceive me?
KATE. Hello, flea-killer.--How do you like it?
TIPPY. I must have slept a few years.
[TED _removes coat and lays it on table with hat._]
KATE. Slept?
TIPPY. It looks to me like the Republican Party is back in power.
[MARTIN _re-enters. He stops in astonishment._]
MARTIN. Hello.
KATE. Hello, Communist. [_Indicates_ TED.] Does seeing Ted decently
dressed make you see red?
MARTIN. [_Surveying_ TED'S _clothes._] No, indeed. The true
_Communist_ loves beauty and prosperity. His distinction is that he
insists on both for everybody.
KATE. Well, I know you are prospering. I saw your drawing in the
_New Yorker_.
MARTIN. I let them have it at half price just to get it where you
would see it.
TIPPY. [_Confidentially to_ KATE.] Half price in the _New Yorker_
would be triple price in the _New Masses._ But selling to the _New
Yorker_ is the latest orders from the Comintern. It's the new plan
for boring from within.
KATE. [_Impressed._] Oh! Is it?
TED. [_To_ MARTIN, _who is still surveying him._] Does it fit all
right?
MARTIN. Perfectly.
KATE. [_Indicating_ TED.] Honest, Tippy, what do you think of it?
TIPPY. What should I think? What would anybody think?
KATE. He looks nice, doesn't he?
TED. [_Trying to seem nonchalant, although he is obviously trying
to justify himself._] I dropped by to remind Kate about the party.
KATE. And I inveigled him into a shop. Isn't it worth it?
Transforms him. Ted wears clothes so well.
TIPPY. Agreed. The man makes the clothes. Martin in that outfit
would look like an Oklahoma Indian who'd just struck oil.
KATE. Ted hasn't any business to look shabby. It's all right for
Martin, but Ted just looks pathetic.
MARTIN. The only reason I don't wear good clothes is because I
spill soup on them.
KATE. [_Puts hat on_ TED'S _head._] Now, tell me, do you really
like the hat?
TIPPY. It's O.K.--Is he to wear it in the house?
TED. [_Removes hat_.] I feel the hat is not quite right.
KATE. He wanted a brown hat. But _I_ thought gray was smarter.
TED. Brown would have suited me better.
MARTIN. I'm not up much on sartorial etiquette. Is the hat supposed
to match the coat or the suit?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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