French fiction -- Translations into English; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
Ah! how silly youth would be, if it had not its beautiful simplicity!
The foolishness upon the lips of the child is an adorable ignorance by
which men are quietly amused. Scarcely a month ago, I was a simpleton;
I spoke to you innocently of the redemption of women. Verily, to have
heard me, an old man would at once have smiled his sweetest smile and
ironically shaken his head: he would have given the smile to the young
soul who had faith in entire perfection, and addressed the shake of the
head to the absurd youth who was boldly attempting the miracle which the
Saviour alone has the power to work.
Enough of deceptions! The brutal truth has strange delights for those
who are tormented by the problem of life; they are weary of those hopes
which mothers bequeath to their children, and which, slow to vanish,
abandon them one by one, lengthening their martyrdom. As for me, I
prefer, even should I suffer from having all my illusions torn from me
in a day, to see clearly into this world of dissipation to the depths of
which I have descended.
No doubt, some once sinful women who have sincerely repented are met
with. Women who have strayed from the right path have seen the error of
their ways, have reformed, have found husbands and have been pardoned.
But such things are miracles. The laws common to short-sighted humanity
seem to ordain that wretched women, who have once forgotten themselves,
shall be trodden under foot, torn to pieces, and their fragments so
scattered that they cannot be reunited at the final hour.
Listen, brothers: should a Magdalen crawl at your feet, cursing her past
errors, promising you a new youth of love, do not believe her. Heaven is
not lavish of prodigies. Providence rarely shackles human misfortunes.
Say to yourselves that evil is powerful, and that in this world of ours
falsehood is not changed into truth even to give relief to a poor,
suffering soul. Repulse the Magdalen, spurn her, laugh at her tears and
the pleading of her heart; rail against all redemption. Such is the
advice of what men call wisdom.
I feel that I am gaining experience in worldly matters.
Laurence is a soul forever lost, a stupefied intelligence, a creature so
hardened that nothing can awaken her from her sleep in the mud. I might
bruise her flesh, I might break her bones with a club, or I might lift
her drowsy eyelids with kisses, but she would still squat at my feet,
without a quiver, without a cry either of pain or joy. Sometimes, I am
tempted to cry out to her:
"Get up and let us fight; awake, shout, swear, and show me that you are
yet alive by making me suffer!"
She looks at me with her dull eyes; I recoil affrighted, not daring to
speak. Laurence is dead, dead in heart and in thought. I can do nothing
with such a corpse.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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