French fiction -- Translations into English; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
While Jacques was talking to me in his slow voice, I could not take my
eyes from the young girl's touching countenance, so youthful and so
faded. There were upon her frank forehead profound lassitude and
languor; the blood no longer flowed beneath her skin; the shivers of
life no longer made her slumbering flesh tremble. Have you ever seen, in
her cradle, a little girl whom fever has rendered whiter and more
innocent than usual? She sleeps with her eyes wide open; she has the
gentle and peaceful visage of an angel; she suffers and she seems to
smile. The strange little girl whom I had before me, that woman who had
remained a child, resembled her sister in the cradle. Only, in her case,
it was more pitiful to see upon a forehead of fifteen so much purity and
so much pallor, all the innocent graces of a young girl and all the
shameful fatigues of a woman.
She had thrown back her arms and was supporting her languishing head
upon her hands. I was ignorant of her history; I knew not who she was or
what she was doing in this chamber. But, from her entire being, I saw
the innocence of her heart and the disgrace of her life; I recognized
the youthfulness of her glances and the premature age of her blood; I
said to myself that she was dying of decrepitude at fifteen, with a
spotless soul. Emaciated and weakened, she would expire like a fallen
creature, but with the smile of an angel upon her lips.
I sat for two full hours between Jacques and Marie, contemplating these
two beings, studying their countenances. I could not conjecture what had
brought such a man and such a woman together. Then, I thought of
Laurence, and comprehended that unions existed which could not be
avoided.
Jacques seems to me satisfied with the existence he leads. He toils, he
regulates his pleasures and his studies; he lives the life of a student
without impatience, even with a certain tranquil satisfaction. I noticed
that he showed some pride in receiving me in such a beautiful chamber;
he does not see all the ignoble ugliness of the false and wretched
luxury which surrounds him. Besides, he is neither vain nor a coxcomb;
he is a great deal too practical to have such defects. He spoke to me
only of his hopes, of his future position; he is in haste to be no
longer young and to live as becomes a grave man. Meanwhile, in order to
be like the rest of mankind, he consents to inhabit a chamber at fifty
francs per month rent, he wishes to smoke, to drink a little, and even
to have a sweetheart. But he considers all this simply as a custom which
he cannot refuse; he designs, after having passed his final examination,
to disembarrass himself of his cigar, of Marie and of his glass as
pieces of furniture thenceforward useless. He has calculated, nearly to
the minute, the time when he will have a right to the respect of worthy
people.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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