French fiction -- Translations into English; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
Marie thinks she is fifteen years old. She does not know where she was
born, but vaguely remembers a woman who beat her, her mother without
doubt. Her earliest recollections date from the streets; she recalls
that she played there and that she slept there. In fact, her life has
been a long walk in the thoroughfares. It would be very difficult for
her to tell what she did up to the age of eight; when I questioned her
in regard to her early years, she replied that she had forgotten all
about them, except that she was very hungry and very cold. In her eighth
year, like all the little outcasts, she sold flowers. She slept then at
the Fontainebleau gate, in a large, gloomy garret which was the refuge
of a whole herd of children of the same age as herself, all of whom had
been abandoned by their parents to the cold charity of the world. Until
she was fourteen, she went to this kennel, choosing her corner every
night, sometimes well received by her companions, sometimes beaten by
them, growing up amid wretchedness and want, nobody stretching out a
hand to save her or uttering a word to awaken her heart. She was in the
deepest ignorance, and did not even know that she possessed a mind and a
soul. She acquired evil ways, without suspecting that evil existed; at
present, though she had become a woman of the world, she still had her
childish face and her mind was yet infantile and innocent. She had
strayed too early in life for sin to touch her soul.
I now understood the meaning of her strange visage, made up of
shamelessness and innocence, of beauty at once youthful and faded. I had
the key to the mystery of this cynical girl, this weary woman, who was
dying with the calmness and the whiteness of a martyr. She was the
daughter of the great city, and the great city had made of her a
monstrous creature neither a child nor a woman. In that being, whose
soul no one had awakened, that soul still slumbered. The body itself
had, doubtless, never been aroused. Marie was a creature simple in mind
and flesh, who, while she had trodden muddy paths, had remained pure
amid the mud, knowing nothing and accepting everything. I saw her before
me, already branded, with her sweet smile, talking to me of herself, in
her somewhat hoarse voice, as our little sisters talk to us of their
dolls, and I felt a sickening sensation take possession of my heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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