French fiction -- Translations into English; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
We were then twelve years old. I met you one October evening upon the
college green, beneath the plane trees, near the little fountain. You
were weak and timid. I know not what united us; our weakness, perhaps.
From that evening, we walked together, separating from each other for a
few hours, but clasping hands with stronger friendship after each
separation.
I know that we have neither the same flesh nor the same heart. You live
and think differently from me, but you love as I do. There is the secret
of our fraternity. You have my tenderness and my pity; you kneel in
life, you seek some one upon whom to bestow your souls. We have a
communion of tenderness and affection.
Do you remember the first years of our acquaintance? We read together
idle tales, grand romances of adventure which held us for six months
beneath their fascinating spell. We wrote verses and made chemical
experiments; we indulged in painting and music. There was, at the house
of one of us, on the fourth floor, a large chamber which served as our
laboratory and atelier. There, in the solitude, we committed our
childish crimes: we ate the raisins hanging from the ceiling, we risked
our eyes over retorts brought to a white heat, we wrote rhymed comedies
in three acts which I yet read to-day when I wish to smile. I still see
that large chamber, with its broad window, flooded with white light and
full of old newspapers, engravings trodden under foot, chairs with their
straw bottoms gone, and broken wood horses. It seems to me pleasant and
smiling, when I look at my chamber of to-day and perceive, standing in
the middle of it, Laurence who terrifies and attracts me.
Later, the open air intoxicated us. We enjoyed the healthful dissipation
of the fields and long walks. It was madness, fury. We broke the
retorts, forgot the raisins and closed the door of the laboratory. In
the morning, we set out before day. I came beneath your windows to
summon you in the midst of darkness, and we hastened to quit the town,
our game bags on our backs, our guns upon our shoulders. I know not what
kind of game we chased; we went along, idling in the dew, running amid
the tall grass which bent down beneath our feet with sharp and quick
sounds; we wallowed in the country like young colts escaped from the
stable. Our game bags were empty on our return, but our minds were full
and our hearts also.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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