England -- Fiction; Gay men -- Fiction; Italy -- Fiction; Paranormal fiction
Colin stood where he was, hearing Douglas’s steps pass across the
gallery and into the hall. His fingers still twitched with rage, he felt
himself charged and crackling with the friendly power, and he had no
doubt in his own soul that by the mere exercise of his will he could
have brought to bear some disastrous force on the man who had just
quitted him, that should exhibit itself in illness or misfortune, or in
ways more swift and terrible. And yet though the mere opening of the
sluice of pent-up evil would have done it, and though with every
conscious fibre of him he hated and wished evil, he did not do it. For
what might happen to Douglas was a side issue, not worth pursuing, and
as regards the main issue, namely his soul’s abhorrence of the power in
Whose name Douglas had withstood him, he knew that he was defeated
already. He had come up against something that did not fight him nor
strive against him; it merely stood there, patient and pitiful, serenely
existing.
He confessed defeat, but he did not acquiesce in it. Rather it stirred
in him, as he had said to Douglas, a more determined antagonism, and
took him farther than ever from any notion of submission. But Douglas
was right in saying that there was a breach in his defences, and that in
the breach stood Dennis, boyish and smiling and clad in that armour of
love and innocence. Somehow he must be stripped of that, and wounded,
and driven away from the crumbling wall of Colin’s defences, else he
would never be able to repair it. Of course the boy was not
convent-bred, he was no pious barley-sugar little saint, but a
high-spirited, vigorous fellow with a good leaven of mischief and boyish
naughtiness, but that was nothing. His armoured innocence lay in his
utter lack of the love of evil; when it came near him in the abstract,
he choked and shuddered at it, instinctively recoiling. Dennis had no
notion of hate, of the desire to hurt; the rudiments of cruelty, that
bramble full of thorns and red fruit, which when it has taken root in
the soul spreads over it quicker than any other lust, and chokes and
stabs to death any growth that impedes it, had no existence in him. He
liked enjoying himself, and there perhaps lay the seeds of selfishness,
but selfishness was a negative quality, compared with the other.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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