England -- Fiction; Gay men -- Fiction; Italy -- Fiction; Paranormal fiction
And there, more impregnable yet, the very breastplate of Dennis’s armour
which covered his heart, was his propensity for love. Colin knew that,
in these three weeks of his Easter holidays, he had made a sad mess in
attempting to use that as a weapon in his own hand. He had thought that
by making Dennis attached to himself he would be able to influence the
boy to his own ends, and lay his soul open for the introduction of that
which he intended to implant there. But a strangely miscalculated result
had ensued. Easily, indeed, by the exercise of that charm which was his
to command, had he won the boy’s heart, but; by some mischance of
carelessness, he had let Dennis’s love ooze into himself. That leak must
be stopped up. As it was, his house of hate was not impervious to those
soft April rains. Why was it, he wondered, that Dennis penetrated like
this, whereas Violet, whose love for him still lived, could make no
entrance? He could sit, so to speak, in the window and watch her
streaming on the pane, and never a drop come in, but Dennis dripped from
the roof, and entered through chink and cranny. Was it that with
Violet’s love there was mingled fear of him and horror, which cloyed its
power of penetration, whereas Dennis was pure limpid water? Dennis had
neither fear nor horror of him: he had clung to him in the midnight hour
of his fear, as to a rock and a sure defence, unknowing that it was from
there that he was assailed, and that he fled to him from whom he was
fleeing. There was love in all its innocence, and its awful power.
Above all, then, he must kill Dennis’s love for him. The weapon he had
thought to forge out of that had only been turned against himself, and
at the same time it was, in itself, Dennis’s chief protection. Dennis
loved no one, Colin was sure, as he loved him, and there was his cuirass
of security, which must be hammered into fragments which should pierce
and wound him, until he drew them out of his own breast, and cast them
from him as poisoned things, which were the origin of all his woe.
“Yes, that damned Douglas was right,” thought Colin, “and I’m grateful
to him for warning me. I’ll see to it.”
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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