American fiction -- 19th century; Short stories, American
“Oh, I am seriously love-sick,” cried Ferdinand Augustus, welcoming
the subject. “I went in for a sensation, and I’ve got a real
emotion.”
“Poor youth! And she won’t look at you, I suppose?” was Hilary’s
method of commiseration.
“I have not seen her for a mortal fortnight. She has completely
vanished. And for the first time in my life I’m seriously in love.”
“You’re incapable of being seriously in love,” said Hilary.
“I had always thought so myself,” admitted Ferdinand Augustus.
“The most I had ever felt for any woman was a sort of mere lukewarm
desire, a sort of mere meaningless titillation. But this woman is
different. She’s as different to other women as wine is different to
toast-and-water. She has the feu-sacré. She’s done something to the
very inmost soul of me; she’s laid it bare, and set it quivering
and yearning. She’s made herself indispensable to me; I can’t live
without her. Ah, you don’t know what she’s like. She’s like some
strange, beautiful, burning spirit. Oh, for an hour with her I’d give
my kingdom. To touch her hand—to look into those eyes of hers—to
hear her speak to me! I tell you squarely, if she’d have me, I’d
throw up the whole scheme of my existence, I’d fly with her to the
uttermost ends of the earth. But she has totally disappeared, and I can
do nothing to recover her without betraying my identity; and that would
spoil everything. I want her to love me for myself, believing me to be
a plain man, like you or anybody. If she knew who I am, how could I ever
be sure?”
“You are in a bad way,” said Hilary, looking at him with amusement.
“And yet, I’m gratified to see it. Her hair is not so red as I could
wish, but, after all, it’s reddish; and you appear to be genuinely
aflame. It will do you no end of good; it will make a man of you—a
plain man, like me or anybody. But your impatience is not reasoned. A
fortnight? You have not met her for a fortnight? My dear, to a plain man
(like me or anybody) a fortnight’s nothing. It’s just an appetiser.
Watch and wait, and you’ll meet her before you know it. And now, if
you will excuse me, I have business in another quarter of the palace.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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