American fiction -- 19th century; Short stories, American
One evening, when I was eighteen or nineteen, coming home from the
Latin Quarter, where I was a student, to dine with my people, in the
Rue Oudinot, I found Mr. Ambrose in the drawing-room. Or, if you will,
I found a stranger in the drawing-room, but a stranger whom it took
me only a minute or two to recognise. My father, at my entrance, had
smiled, with a little air of mystery, and said to me, “Here is an
old friend of yours. Can you tell who it is?” And the stranger,
also—somewhat faintly—smiling, had risen, and offered me his hand.
I looked at him—looked at him—and, in a minute,% I exclaimed,
“It’s Mr. Ambrose!”
I can see him now almost as clearly as I saw him then, when he stood
before me, faintly smiling: tall and thin, stooping a little, dressed
in black, with a long broad beard, long hair, and a pale, worn, aquiline
face. It is the face especially that comes back to me, pale and worn and
finely aquiline, the face, the high white brow, the deep eyes set
wide apart, the faint, faded smile: a striking face—an intellectual
face—a handsome face, despite many wrinkles—an indescribably sad
face, even a tragic face—and yet, for some reason, a face that was
not altogether sympathetic. Something, something in it, had the effect
rather of chilling you, of leaving you where you were, than of warming
and attracting you; something hard to fix, perhaps impossible to name.
A certain suggestion of remoteness, of aloofness? A suggestion of
abstraction from his surroundings and his company, of inattention, of
indifference to them? Of absorption in matters alien to them, outside
their sphere? I did not know. But there was surely something in his face
not perfectly sympathetic.
I had exclaimed, “It’s Mr. Ambrose!” To that he had responded,
“Ah, you have a good memory.” And then we shook hands, and he sat
down again. His hand was thin and delicate, and slightly cold. His voice
was a trifle dry, ungenial. Then he asked me the inevitable half-dozen
questions about myself—how old I was, what I was studying, and so
forth—but though he asked them with an evident intention of being
friendly, one felt that he was all the while half thinking of something
else, and that he never really took in one’s answers.
And gradually he seemed to become unconscious of my presence, resuming
the conversation with my father, which, I suppose, had been interrupted
by my arrival.
“The world has forgotten me. My followers have dropped away. You
yourself—where is your ancient ardour? The cause I have lived for
stands still. My propaganda is arrested. I am poor, I am obscure, I am
friendless, and I am sixty-five years old. But the great ideals, the
great truths, I have taught, remain. They are like gold which I have
mined. There the gold lies, between the covers of my books, as in so
many caskets. Some day, in its necessities, the world will find it. What
is excellent cannot perish. It may lie hid, but it cannot perish.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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