Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century; Farces
BART. I imagined Mr. Royston was a much older person.
ROYS. I see! You mean Jonathan.
BART. Jonathan?
Rots. Yes, my brother--the head of the firm--he's twenty years my
senior! But as he could not spare the time to come, he sent me.
BART. (_aside_). It's worth the trial--decidedly worth it! (_looking
aside at ROYSTON_). Young, gentlemanly, sufficiently good-looking,
good family! Here goes! (_Aloud._) Excuse my candor, but I think I
guess your motive in putting the professional question you did just
now. _You_ are the writer of the promise of marriage, and you are
desirous of contracting _another_ alliance--eh?
ROYS. _I_ don't care about it, but Jonathan does! (_Aside, and sighing
again._) Poor Sophia!
BART. Perhaps you have some party in view?
ROYS. No. But I'm on the lookout.
BART. And, no doubt, anxious to succeed?
ROYS. Not particularly--but Jonathan is.
BART. Perhaps that is the object of your visit _here?_
ROYS. Eh? Is there a marriageable young lady here?
BART. Yes.
ROYS. I should like to see her.
BART. Nothing more easy.
ROYS. What age?
BART. Twenty.
ROYS. Any fortune?
BART. Ten thousand.
ROYS. That'd just suit Jonathan! Pretty?
BART. Charming!
ROYS. That'd just suit _me!_ Egad, suppose I try my luck? I've half a
mind!
BART. Have a _whole_ one! I've a notion you'll succeed!
ROYS. But I know nobody here!
BART. I beg your pardon! you know _me!_
ROYS. Eh?
BART. Known me for _years_ (_with intention_).
ROYS. (_suddenly seeing BARTON'S meaning_). Of course I have!
BART. Ever since we were children!
ROYS. Babies!
BART. We went to the same school together!
ROYS. Of course we did!
BART. At Tunbridge Wells!
ROYS. Yes, at Bagnigge Wells!
BART. And we have been friends ever since!
ROYS. (_enthusiastically_). _Bosom friends!_ And you'll really do all
you can to serve me?
BART. Of course I will! (_Aside._) And myself at the same time!
ROYS. A thousand thanks, my dear-- By-the-bye, what shall I call you?
BART. Harry. And you?
ROYS. Basil (_grasping BARTON'S hand_). Sophia might scratch your eyes
out, but Jonathan will bless you.
BART. Hush! (_seeing MRS. TEMPLETON, who enters at L. H._).
MRS. T. (_to ROYSTON_). Sorry to have kept you waiting, Mr. Royston.
ROYS. I am here, madam, as my brother's representative.
MRS. T. I am aware of it. Mr. Barton, allow me to introduce to you--
BART. No necessity for it, madam. Basil is an old friend of mine.
ROYS. Yes, madam! I little thought of meeting an old schoolfellow here
(_shaking BARTON'S hand warmly_). Some years ago now--eh, Tom?
BART. (_aside to him_). Harry!
ROYS. Harry!
MRS. T. So you were school-fellows--eh?
ROYS. Yes, ma'am, at--Bagnigge Wells.
BART. (_hastily aside to him_). Tunbridge!
ROYS. Of course! Tunbridge!
MRS. T. You must have had some difficulty in recognizing each other?
ROYS. _I_ had--very _considerable_ difficulty, I assure you!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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