Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century; Farces
BART. We should have met earlier, no doubt, but for my friend's
lengthened absence in Italy (_significantly to ROYSTON_).
ROYS. Yes. Ah! charming country--for those who don't mind the cold!
(_On a sign from BARTON._) I mean the heat!
MRS. T. (_aside and looking at ROYSTON_). Really a vastly agreeable
young man!
_Enter COLONEL at R. H._
COL. So Royston has arrived, has he? (_Seeing BASIL._) Heyday! why,
this is Basil--his younger brother!
ROYS. At your service, colonel.
MRS. T. You are acquainted, then?
COL. I was intimate with his mother's family--indeed, I may say I was
the means of getting him a nomination to the Blue Coat school.
BART. (_aside_). This is deuced awkward!
MRS. T. The Blue Coat school? I thought you said Tunbridge Wells?
ROYS. (_recollecting_). Yes; that was before--I mean after--
COL. (_aside and suspiciously_). I suspect these young fellows are
playing some little game of their own; and, what's more, I can pretty
well guess what it is!
MRS. T. (_aside to COLONEL_). As Mr. Royston is an entire stranger to
me, may I ask you, Cousin Samuel, what is the opinion you have formed
of him?
COL. Oh! a very charming young man, indeed! Most respectable family!
an ample income already, with great expectations from a couple of
aunts and a godmother! A little wild at present, perhaps, but he'll
soon settle down when he's _married!_ Ah! happy the woman who makes a
conquest of such a man! (_Aside._) There! now _I'm_ in the conspiracy
too!
MRS. T. (_to ROYSTON_). Your friend Mr. Barton does not leave here
till to-morrow; you, I hope, will also defer your departure till then?
BART. (_quickly to ROYSTON_). Of course you will! (_To MRS. T._) Of
course he will! (_To ROYSTON._) You'll be only too delighted! (_To
MRS. T._) He'll be only too delighted!
MRS. T. Ah! here's my niece! (_going up to meet JULIA, who enters at
C._).
ROYS. (_seeing JOSEPHINE, who at the same moment enters at R. H._).
Look! what a charming creature!
BART. No, no! it isn't she! it's the other! Look there! (_pointing to
JULIA_). There's a figure! there's a symmetry! Look at those
finely-chiselled features!
ROYS. Yes, yes! but still, in my opinion (_looking admiringly at
JOSEPHINE_)--
BART. Your opinion, indeed! Pshaw! what do you know about it?
JOSEPHINE (_aside to COLONEL, and pointing to ROYSTON_). What! has
Harry found somebody already?
MRS. T. Julia, my dear, allow me to present Mr. Royston, an old friend
of Mr. Barton's (_JULIA courtesies stiffly to ROYSTON_).
BART. (_to ROYSTON_). There's a courtesy! that's what I call a
courtesy!
ROYS. Yes! but, as I said before, of the two I prefer (_looking at
JOSEPHINE_)--
BART. You prefer, indeed! Surely I must know better than you! (_To
JULIA._) My friend Royston, a distinguished amateur of the fine arts,
is in raptures with your sketches, Miss Julia. (_JULIA courtesies
stiffly again._)
JOSEPHINE (_to JULIA_). Why don't you thank Mr. Royston, sister?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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