Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century; Farces
ROYS. (_shouting_). No! that won't do!
JOSEPHINE. (_still more astonished_). And you don't hesitate to
address me in this language before-- (_pointing to BARTON_).
ROYS. Before my friend--my bosom friend--that I went to school with at
Bagnigge Wells? Why should I? It is he who encourages me--who tells me
to "go on." You told me to "go on," didn't you?
JOSEPHINE (_with intention, and looking at BARTON_). But has it never
occurred to you that you might have a rival?
ROYS. So much the better! I should make it my immediate business to
sweep him off the face of the earth!
JOSEPHINE (_to BARTON, in a sarcastic tone_). And you, sir! you can
listen with perfect calmness, indifference! Have _you_ nothing to say?
ROYS. Yes! Have _you_ nothing?--
BART. (_aside to him_). Hold _your_ tongue! (_Aloud, and with affected
solemnity._) Ah! who can anticipate events? How little do we know what
a few hours may bring forth!
ROYS. Yes! how little do we know!--
BART. (_aside to him again_). Hold your tongue! (_Aloud._) In a word,
what if circumstances compel me to leave England for a considerable
time?
JOSEPHINE. A considerable time?
BART. Yes; for two years at least--possibly more!
JOSEPHINE. Two or three years?
BART. Could I venture to hope that you would submit to such a tax on
your goodness--your patience?
JOSEPHINE (_very quickly_). I should think not, indeed!
BART. (_aside_). She doesn't love me! Huzza! (_Aloud._) What course
is, then, open to me? One--only one: to sacrifice myself to the
happiness of my friend!
ROYS. (_grasping his hand_). Glorious creature!
JOSEPHINE. But what about your _own_ happiness? It isn't likely you
could give me up so quietly without some _other_ reason--some _other_
motive!
BART. I have _another_ motive, which for your sister's sake you will
respect! In a word, that portrait--
JOSEPHINE. In Julia's box? Yes. Well?
BART. Was _mine!_ See! (_taking out portrait and showing it_).
JOSEPHINE (_exclaiming_). Yours? It is!
ROYS. Yours? It is! (_bewildered_).
JOSEPHINE. Then--then _you_ are her young man, after all?
ROYS. Yes. You are her young man--
JOSEPHINE. Of course; now I understand. Now I see it all.
ROYS. So do I! No, I don't! At least, not _quite._
_Enter COLONEL hurriedly at C._
COL. (_singing as he comes in_). "See, the conquering hero comes."
Victory! victory! Everything's settled; and now, my dear young friends
(_shaking BARTON'S and JOSEPHINE'S hands_), you can get married as
soon as you like.
JOSEPHINE. }
}
BART. } (_together_). Married?
}
ROYS. }
COL. Yes! I had a devil of a fight for it, but I've carried the day!
Aunt Martha consents, Julia consents, everybody consents!
ROYS. I beg your pardon! _I_ don't! (_Shouting_). I forbid the banns!
_Enter MRS. TEMPLETON, followed by JULIA, at R. H._
JULIA (_aside, as she sees BARTON_). Still here!
JOSEPHINE. So, Aunt Martha, you've given your consent? And you, too,
Julia?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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