American wit and humor; Caricatures and cartoons -- United States; United States -- History -- Humor
Braddock's men fired by platoons into the trees and tore a few holes in
the State line, but when most of the Colonial troops were dead the
regulars presented their tournures to the foe and fled as far as
Philadelphia, where they each took a bath and had some laundry-work
done.
General Forbes took command of the second expedition. He spent most of
his time building roads.
Time passed on, and Forbes built viaducts, conduits, culverts, and
rustic bridges, till it was November, and they were yet fifty miles from
the fort. He then decided to abandon the expedition, on account of the
cold, and also fearing that he had not made all of his bridges wide
enough so that he could take the captured fort home with him.
Washington, however, though only an aidy kong of General Forbes, decided
to take command. His mother had said to him over and over, "George, in
an emergency always take command." He done so, as General Rusk would
say. As he approached, the French set fire to the fort, and retreated,
together with the Indians and Molly Maguires.
Pittsburg now stands on this historic ground, and is one of the most
delightful cities of America.
Many other changes were going on at this time. The English got
possession of Acadia and the French forts at the head of the Bay of
Fundy.
In 1757 General Loudon collected an army for an attack on Louisburg. He
drilled his troops all summer, and then gave up the attack because he
learned that the French had one more skiff than he had.
The Loudons of America at the time of this writing are more quiet and
sensible regarding their ancestry than any of the doodle-bug aristocracy
of our promoted peasantry and the crested Yahoos of our cowboy republic.
The Loudons--or Lowdowns--of America had a very large family. Some of
them changed their names and moved.
The next year after the _fox pass_ of General Loudon, Amherst and Wolfe
took possession of the entire island.
About the time of Braddock's justly celebrated expedition another
started out for Crown Point. The French, under Dieskau (pronounced
dees-kow), met the army composed of Colonial troops in plain clothes,
together with the regular troops led by officers with drawn swords and
overdrawn salaries. The regular general, seeing that the battle was
lost, excused himself and retired to his tent, owing to an ingrowing
nail which had annoyed him all day. Lyman, the Colonial officer now took
command, and wrung victory from the reluctant jaws of defeat. For this
Johnson, the English general, received twenty-five thousand dollars and
a baronetcy, while Lyman received a plated butter-dish and a bass-wood
what-not. But Lyman was a married man, and had learned to take things as
they came.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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