Confession; Or, The Blind Heart. A Domestic StorySimms, William Gilmore
General
Confession; Or, The Blind Heart. A Domestic Story
Simms, William Gilmore
Domestic fiction
The question was solemnly, suddenly spoken. It staggered me. What
could it mean? That there was a meaning in it--a deep meaning--was
unquestionable. But of what nature? Did the venerable man suspect my
secret--could he by any chance conjecture my purpose? It is one quality
of a mind not exactly satisfied of the propriety of its proceedings, to
be suspicious of all things and persons--to fancy that the consciousness
which distresses itself, is also the consciousness of its neighbors.
Hence the blush upon the cheek--the faltering accents--the tremulousness
of limb, and feebleness of movement. For a moment after the old man
spoke--troubled with this consciousness, I could not answer. But my
self-esteem came to my relief--nay, it had sufficed to conceal my
disquiet. My looks were subdued to a seeming calm--my voice was
un-broken, while I answered:--
“I have seen him within a few days, sir--a few nights ago we were at
Mrs. Delaney's party. But why the question, sir?--what troubles you?”
“Strange that you have not seen! Did you not remark the alteration in
his appearance?”
“I must confess, sir, I did not; but, perhaps, I did not remark him
closely among the crowd.”
“He is altered--terribly altered, Clifford. It is very strange that you
have not seen it. It is visible to myself--his mother--all the
family, and some of its friends We tremble for his life. He is a mere
skeleton--moves without life or animation, feebly--his cheeks are pale
and thin, his lips white, and his eyes have an appearance which, beyond
anything besides, distresses me--either lifelessly dull, or suddenly
flushed up with an expression of wildness, which occurs so suddenly as
to distress us with the worst apprehensions of his sanity.”
“Indeed, sir!” I exclaimed with natural surprise.
“So it appears to us, his mother and myself, though, as it has escaped
your eyes, I trust that we have exaggerated it. That we have not
imagined all of it, however, we have other proofs to show. His manner is
changed of late, and most of his habits. The change is only within
the last six months; so suddenly made that it has been forced upon
our sight. Once so frank, he is now reserved and shrinking to the last
degree; speaks little; is reluctant to converse; and, I am compelled to
believe, not only avoids my glance, but fears it.”
“It is very strange that he should do so, sir. I can think of no reason
why he should avoid YOUR glance. Can you sir? Have you any suspicions?”
“I have.”
“Ha! have you indeed?”
The old man drew his chair closer to me, and, putting his hand on
mine, with eyes in which the tears, big, slow-gathering, began to
fill--trickling at length, one by one, through the venerable furrows of
his cheeks--he replied in faltering accents:--
“A terrible suspicion, Clifford. I am afraid he drinks; that he
frequents gambling-houses; that, in short, he is about to be lost to us,
body and soul, for ever.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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