Confession; Or, The Blind Heart. A Domestic StorySimms, William Gilmore
General
Confession; Or, The Blind Heart. A Domestic Story
Simms, William Gilmore
Domestic fiction
deem of importance to their desires.
She retired soon. Her departure was followed by that of Edgerton first,
and next of Wharton. Mrs. Porterfield had already gone. I was alone at
the entrance of our cottage. Not alone! My demon was with me--suggestive
of his pangs as ever--full of subtlety, and filling me with the darkest
imaginings. The destroyer of my peace was in my dwelling. My wife may or
may not be innocent. Happy for her if she is, but how can that be known?
It mattered little to me in the excited mood which possessed me. Let any
man fancy, as I did, that one, partaking of his hospitality, lying in
the chamber which adjoined his own, yet meditated the last injury in the
power of man to inflict against the peace and honor of his protector.
Let him fancy this, and then ask what would be his own feelings--what
his course?
Still, there is a sentiment of justice which is natural to every bosom
with whom education has not been utter perversion. I believed much
against Edgerton; I suspected my wife; I had seen much to offend
my affections; much to alarm my fears; yet I KNEW nothing which was
conclusive. That last event, the occurrence of the afternoon, seemed to
prove not that the two were guilty, but that my wife loved the man who
meditated guilt. This belief, doubtful so long, and against which I had
really striven, seemed now to be concluded. I had heard her scream;
I had seen her tenderly sustaining his form; I had felt her emotions,
when, the danger being over, her feminine nature gained the ascendancy
and she fainted in my arms. I could no longer doubt, that if she was
still pure in mind, she was no longer insensible to a passion which must
lessen that purity with every added moment of its permitted exercise.
Still, even with this conviction, something more was necessary to
justify me in what I designed. There must be no doubt. I must see. I
must have sufficient proof, for, as my vengeance shall be unsparing, my
provocation must be complete. That it might be so I had brought Edgerton
into the house. Something more was necessary. Time and opportunity must
be allowed him. This I insisted on, though, more than once, as I walked
under the dark whispering groves which girdled our cottage, and caught
a glimpse of the light in Edgerton's chamber, my demon urged me to go
in and strangle him. I had strength to resist this suggestion, but the
struggle was a long one.
I did not soon retire to rest. When I did, I still remained sleepless.
But Julia slept. In her sleep she threw herself on my bosom, and seemed
to cling about and clasp me as if with some fear of separation. Had I
not fancied that this close embrace was meant for another than myself,
I had been more indulgent to the occasional moanings of distress that
escaped her lips. But, thinking as I did, I forced her from me, and in
doing so she wakened.
“Edward,” she exclaimed on wakening, “is it you?”
“Who should it be?” I demanded--all my suspicions renewed by her
question.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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