Conrad in Quest of His Youth: An Extravagance of TemperamentMerrick, Leonard
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Conrad in Quest of His Youth: An Extravagance of Temperament
Merrick, Leonard
Theater -- Great Britain -- Fiction
The interruption had jarred him, but it was not until the Closerie des
Lilas was a hundred yards behind that he knew he had left the hall for
the purpose of resuming his reverie in comfort. When he reached the
Boulevard Saint-Michel his interest in the projects of five-and-twenty
years ago was again so keen that he grieved to think they had been
fruitless. Improving on history, he permitted the boys who were boys
no more to amass the sovereign that they coveted, and, giving his fancy
rein, lived through the glorious day which had never dawned. He tried
very hard to be fair to Ted after Mary had welcomed them, though to
prevent the conversation becoming a dualogue irked him a good deal. In
moments he discovered that he was talking to her rather well for his
age, and then he corrected himself with loving artistry. But he could
seldom find it in his heart to correct Mary, and she said the prettiest
things in the world. He came back to the present, swimming with
tenderness for the little maiden of his retrospect. It shocked him to
reflect that she must be about thirty-eight if she lived still, and
might even have a marriageable daughter. The pathos of the
marriageable daughter indeed overwhelmed him, and, taking a seat at the
Taverne du Panthéon, he pictured himself waking to realise that he was
only twelve years old and that all events subsequent to the epoch had
been a dream.
The October air was bleak when he crossed on the morrow, and the deck
rolled to meet the splashes of the waves. The idea of revisiting the
watering-place--and the idea had germinated--attracted him less
forcibly as his chair played see-saw with the taffrail, but he
remembered that he had often been advised by advertisements "not to
risk infection from foreigners, when he could winter in sunny Sweetbay,
the fairest spot in England." The fact that it had a reputation as a
winter resort encouraged him somewhat, and by the time he saw the lamps
of Charing Cross he felt adventurous again. He also admired a girl on
the platform. "There's nothing like an Englishwoman for beauty," he
said; and the girl exclaimed: "Oh, I've left my little fur in my grip,
right there!"
He fulfilled his programme the next morning. The drowsy station of
Sweetbay seemed to him larger than of yore as he glanced about him, but
he did not stop to gather information in the matter. His bag was in
the fly, and he was rattled to an hotel where the manager appeared
surprised to see him. Although his sensations on the boat had left him
with no insistent longing for a room with a sea-view, he accepted one
without complaint, and learning that luncheon was being served,
descended to where three despondent-looking visitors were scattered
among an acre of tables. Evidently people continued to go abroad in
spite of the advice. However, he had not come to Sweetbay for society.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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