Conrad in Quest of His Youth: An Extravagance of Temperament — John Shaqi
Conrad in Quest of His Youth: An Extravagance of TemperamentMerrick, Leonard
General
Conrad in Quest of His Youth: An Extravagance of Temperament
Merrick, Leonard
Theater -- Great Britain -- Fiction
It was a neat and decorous little town awaiting him when he sallied
forth from the hotel. Everything was very clean, very tidy. The
pink-paved sidewalks, bordered by trees, glistened like coral; the snug
villas, enclosed by euonymus hedges trimmed to precision, had a fresh
and wholesome air, an air that made him think of honey soap and good
rice puddings. He backed before the walls of the Parish Church. A
play-bill of the Rosery Theatre, near by, seemed an anachronism, and
even as he recalled Sweetbay it had been content with Assembly Rooms.
On a hoarding he saw a poster of the Pier Pavilion--the pavilion was an
innovation too. In the High Street photographs of some popular actors
had invaded a shop window, and he was struck by the extraordinary
resemblance they bore to one another--all wearing on the brow the frown
of intellectuality, and carefully disordered hair. The Town Hall was a
landmark. He murmured Matthew Arnold's line: "Expressive merely of the
impotence of the architect to express anything," but the unparalleled
ugliness of the building warmed him with recollections. He branched to
the left, as he used to branch to the left when he carried Mary's
bathing shoes, and surrendering himself to sentiment unreservedly now
swung joyously for Eden.
And from this point landmarks flocked thick and fast. The way began to
climb the hill, the hill began to show the boughs, the boughs began to
veil the road, the road began to woo the lane, the lane began to near
the house, and--like the old woman's pig--Conrad got over the stile.
And "Mowbray Lodge" was still painted on the gate! It was all so
wonderfully the same for a moment in the shade behind the fir trees--so
wonderfully--that he felt tearful. The scene had stood so still that
there seemed something unreal in his returning here a man. Again he
saw the slender columns of the long veranda, and the summer-house on
which the weather-cock still perched. He looked, and looked wide-eyed,
at a faded door--not green, not blue--and knew suddenly that behind
that door there should be currant bushes and a tangle of nasturtium,
and hens prinking on the path. His soul embraced the scene. And
yet--and yet it was not the features which had lived in his mind that
moved him most. The magic lay in the pervasive hush, and in a gust of
the fir trees' smell, which he had forgotten until it swept him
breathless across the years.
Yes, there seemed something unreal in his standing here a man. His
spirit was listening--and he knew that it was listening--for calls from
children who had grown to middle-age now; his gaze was waiting--even he
knew that it was waiting--for the rush of childish figures which the
scene should yield.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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