Tattlesnivel stoops to demand no championship from her sons. On an
occasion in History, our bluff British monarch, our Eighth Royal Harry,
almost went there. And long ere the periodical in which this exposure
will appear, had sprung into being, Tattlesnivel had unfurled that
standard which yet waves upon her battlements. The standard alluded to,
is THE TATTLESNIVEL BLEATER, containing the latest intelligence, and
state of markets, down to the hour of going to press, and presenting a
favourable local medium for advertisers, on a graduated scale of charges,
considerably diminishing in proportion to the guaranteed number of
insertions.
It were bootless to expatiate on the host of talent engaged in formidable
phalanx to do fealty to the Bleater. Suffice it to select, for present
purposes, one of the most gifted and (but for the wide and deep
ramifications of an un-English conspiracy) most rising, of the men who
are bold Albion’s pride. It were needless, after this preamble, to point
the finger more directly at the LONDON CORRESPONDENT OF THE TATTLESNIVEL
BLEATER.
On the weekly letters of that Correspondent, on the flexibility of their
English, on the boldness of their grammar, on the originality of their
quotations (never to be found as they are printed, in any book existing),
on the priority of their information, on their intimate acquaintance with
the secret thoughts and unexecuted intentions of men, it would ill become
the humble Tattlesnivellian who traces these words, to dwell. They are
graven in the memory; they are on the Bleater’s file. Let them be
referred to.
But from the infamous, the dark, the subtle conspiracy which spreads its
baleful roots throughout the land, and of which the Bleater’s London
Correspondent is the one sole subject, it is the purpose of the lowly
Tattlesnivellian who undertakes this revelation, to tear the veil. Nor
will he shrink from his self-imposed labour, Herculean though it be.
The conspiracy begins in the very Palace of the Sovereign Lady of our
Ocean Isle. Leal and loyal as it is the proud vaunt of the Bleater’s
readers, one and all, to be, the inhabitant who pens this exposure does
not personally impeach, either her Majesty the queen, or the illustrious
Prince Consort. But, some silken-clad smoothers, some purple parasites,
some fawners in frippery, some greedy and begartered ones in gorgeous
garments, he does impeach—ay, and wrathfully! Is it asked on what
grounds? They shall be stated.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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