And, oh, Dizzy, my lad, keep up your pecker, and don’t be cast down, for Gladstone is a good sort of a chap, and if you behave yourself, I dare say he will give you a job. Do not fret, Dizzy, there’s a good boy. And, oh, D----, we thank you for paying attention to our last prayer, by kindly removing the spectacles from off the dog’s noses, and when the roasted chesnuts and boys hoop question is settled, turn your great mind into another channel, and devise some means of ridding us of the garrotting ruffians that now infest our streets and highways in the open daylight. Do D----, and we shall bless thee. And now to Gladstone and all who have fought so nobly to gain this great victory, be all thanks due, and may they stick like bricks to the cause, and do their duty at the forthcoming Sessions of Parliament, and they shall receive our praises now and for evermore. Amen. H. Disley, Printer, 57, High Street, St. Giles, London. BELIEF AND COMMANDMENTS ON THE RIGHTS OF WOMEN. To be read by all married women to their husbands, and by all single ones to their sweethearts. At a meeting of women the other day, that dear old lady, Mrs. Caudle, amused the ladies present, by reading her Belief and Commandments on the rights and privileges of married women; so after taking half-a-dozen pinches of snuff and a couple of glasses of eye-water, and coughing three times, she commenced as follows:-- I believe, that has some one has said, that woman is man’s better, and sometimes his bigger half, and the best friend he has got to his back; she should not only rule the roast at home, but have a voice in the affairs of the country to which she belongs! and I not only believe, but I am quite sure, that it is her husband’s place to obey her in everything, and patiently attend to her commandments, and then, and not till then, will curtain lectures cease. Now my first commandment, if I was married, would be this, I would say to my husband. 1st. You must never think of, or even look at any other woman but me, for am sure the parson must have made a mistake when he said, woman, obey your husbands. 2nd. You must never make me jealous by praising those forward jades that wear those ugly things on their heads called chignons, but keep your eye wholly on me, and study my wants both day and night, or I will comb your head with a small tooth bellows, that’s what I will, and no mistake. 3rd. Before going to work in the morning, you must light the fire and make me a strong cup of tea, with something nice in it in case I should have the wind, and you must not grumble if the kettle does not boil when you come home to breakfast. 4th. Six days must work from six to six, that you may provide me with the comforts of life, and on the seventh, you may scrub the floor, peel the potatoes, make the dumplings, and cook the dinner. In the afternoon, by way of amusement, you must take the children to the park and show the little darlings the ducks.