'Don't talk so stupidly--so wickedly,' said the girl gravely. 'You are
not a coward to set out in the world and turn back discouraged even
before you have got anything to discourage you.'
'I am no coward,' he said; 'but everything has been too hard for me. I
am a fool--a wretched fool to have set my heart--my soul, upon an object
I can never reach.'
'What do you mean, Standish? You haven't set your heart upon anything
that you may not gain in time. You will, I know, if you have courage,
gain a good and noble name for yourself.'
'Of what use would it be to me, Daireen? It would only be a mockery to
me--a bitter mockery unless--Oh, Daireen, it must come, you have forced
it from me--I will tell you and then leave you for ever--Daireen, I
don't care for anything in the world but to have you love me--a little,
Daireen. What would a great name be to me unless----'
'Hush, Standish,' said the girl with her face flushed and almost angry.
'Do not ever speak to me like this again. Why should all our good
friendship come to an end?' She had softened towards the close of her
sentence, and she was now looking at him in tenderness.
'You have forced me to speak,' he said. 'God knows how I have struggled
to hold my secret deep down in my heart--how I have sworn to hold it,
but it forced itself out--we are not masters of ourselves, Daireen. Now
tell me to leave you--I am prepared for it, for my dream, I knew, was
bound to vanish at a touch.'
'Considering that I am four miles from home and in a wood, I cannot
tell you to do that,' she said with a laugh, for all her anger had been
driven away. 'Besides that, I like you far too well to turn you away;
but, Standish, you must never talk so to me again. Now, let us return.'
'I know I must not, because I am a beggar,' he said almost madly. 'You
will love some one who has had a chance of making a name for himself in
the world. I have had no chance.'
'Standish, I am waiting for you to return.'
'Yes, I have seen them sitting beside you aboard the steamer,' continued
Standish bitterly, 'and I knew well how it would be.' He looked at her
almost fiercely. 'Yes, I knew it--you have loved one of them.'
Daireen's face flushed fearfully and then became deathly pale as she
looked at him. She did not utter a word, but looked into his face
steadily with an expression he had never before seen upon hers. He
became frightened.
'Daireen--dearest Daireen, forgive me,' he cried. I am a fool--no,
worse--I don't know what I say. Daireen, pity me and forgive me. Don't
look at me that way, for God's sake. Speak to me.'
'Come away,' she said gently. 'Come away, Standish.'
'But tell me you forgive me, Daireen,' he pleaded.
'Come away,' she said.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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