This was Daisy’s letter, which Guy read with such a pang in his heart as
he had never known before, even when he was smarting the worst from
wounded love and disappointed hopes. Then he had said to himself, "I can
never suffer again as I am suffering now," and now, alas, he felt how
little he had ever known of that pain which tears the heart and takes
the breath away.
"God help her," he moaned,—his first thought, his first prayer for
Daisy, the girl who called herself his wife, when just across the hall
was the bride of a few hours,—another woman who bore his name and called
him her husband.
With a face as pale as ashes, and hands which shook like palsied hands,
he read again that pathetic cry from her whom he now felt he had never
ceased to love; ay, whom he loved still, and whom, if he could, he would
have taken to his arms so gladly, and loved and cherished as the
priceless thing he had once thought her to be. The first moments of
agony which followed the reading of the letter were Daisy’s wholly, and
in bitterness of soul the man she had cast off and thought to take again
cried out, as he stretched his arms toward an invisible form: "Too late,
darling; too late. But had it come two months, one month, or even one
week ago, I would,—I would, —have gone to you over land and sea, but
now,—another is in your place, another is my wife; Julia,—poor, innocent
Julia. God help me to keep my vow; God help me in my need."
He was praying now; and Julia was the burden of his prayer. And as he
prayed there came into his heart an unutterable tenderness and pity for
her. He had thought he loved her an hour ago; he believed he loved her
now, or if he did not, he would be to her the kindest, most thoughtful
of husbands, and never let her know, by word or sign, of the terrible
pain he should always carry in his heart. "Darling Daisy, poor Julia,"
he called the two women who were both so much to him. To the first his
love, to the other his tender care, for she was worthy of it. She was
noble, and good, and womanly; he said many times and tried to stop the
rapid heart-throbs and quiet himself down to meet her when she came back
to him with her frank, open face and smile, in which there was no shadow
of guile. She was coming now; he heard her voice in the hall speaking to
her friend, and thrusting the fatal letter in his pocket he rose to his
feet, and steadying himself upon the table, stood waiting for her, as,
flushed and eager, she came in.
"Guy, Guy, what is it? Are you sick?" she asked, alarmed at the pallor
of his face and the strange expression of his eyes.
He was glad she had thus construed his agitation, and he answered that
he was faint and a little sick.
"It came on suddenly, while I was sitting here. It will pass off as
suddenly," he said, trying to smile, and holding out his hand, which she
took at once in hers.
"Is it your heart, Guy? Do you think it is your heart?" she continued,
as she rubbed and caressed his cold, clammy hand.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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