Dandy Dick: A Play in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
Dandy Dick: A Play in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
English drama -- 19th century
I--I am upset to-night, Blore. Of course you leave this day month.
I--I [_looking round._] Blore! He's gone! If I don't call him back the
Spire may be richer to-morrow by five hundred pounds. I won't dwell on
it. I'll read--I'll read. [_Snatches a book at haphazard from the
bookshelf. There is the sound of falling rain and distant thunder._]
Rain, thunder. How it assimilates with the tempest of my mind! I'll
read. Bless me! This is very strange. [_Reading._] "The Horse and its
Ailments, by John Cox, M. R. C. V. S." It was with the aid of this
volume that I used to doctor my old mare at Oxford. A leaf turned
down. [_Reading._] "Simple remedies for chills--the Bolus." The
helpless beast in my stable is suffering from a chill. Good gracious!
If I allow Blore to risk my fifty pounds on Dandy Dick, surely it
would be advisable to administer this Bolus to the poor animal without
delay. [_Referring to the book hastily._] I have these drugs in my
chest. There's not a moment to be lost! [_Going to the bell and
ringing._] I shall want help. I'll fetch my medicine chest.
[_He lays the book upon the table and goes into the Library._
_BLORE enters._
BLORE.
[_Looking round._] Where is he? The bell rang. The Dean's puzzling me
with his uncommon behavior, that he is.
[_THE DEAN comes from the Library, carrying a large medicine chest. On
encountering BLORE he starts and turns away his head, the picture of
guilt._
THE DEAN.
Blore, I feel it would be a humane act to administer to the poor
ignorant animal in my stable a simple Bolus as a precaution against
chill. I rely upon your aid and discretion in ministering to any guest
in the Deanery.
BLORE.
[_In a whisper._] I see, sir--you ain't going to lose half a chance
for to-morrow, sir--you're a knowin' one, sir, as the sayin' goes!
THE DEAN.
[_Shrinking from BLORE with a groan._] Oh! [_He places the medicine
chest on the table and takes up the book. Handing the book to BLORE
with his finger on a page._] Fetch these humble but necessary articles
from the kitchen--quick. I'll mix the Bolus here. [_BLORE goes out
quickly._] It is exactly seven and twenty years since I last
approached a horse medically. [_He takes off his coat and lays it on a
chair, then rolls his shirt-sleeves up above his elbows and puts on
his glasses._] I trust that this Bolus will not give the animal an
unfair advantage over his competitors. I don't desire that! I don't
desire that! [_BLORE re-enters carrying a tray, on which are a small
flour-barrel and rolling-pin, a white china basin, a carafe of water,
a napkin, and the book. THE DEAN recoils, then guiltily takes the tray
from BLORE and puts it on the table._] Thank you.
BLORE.
[_Holding on to the window curtain and watching THE DEAN._] His eyes
is awful; I don't seem to know the 'appy Deanery when I see such
proceedings a'goin' on at the dead of night.
[_There is a heavy roll of thunder--THE DEAN mixes a pudding and stirs
it with the rolling-pin._
THE DEAN.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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