Dandy Dick: A Play in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
Dandy Dick: A Play in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
English drama -- 19th century
[_Advancing to TARVER._] How dare you encourage these two simple
children to enjoy themselves! How dare you take them out--without
their Aunt! Do you think _I_ can't keep a thing quiet?
SHEBA.
They didn't even ask Papa's permission!
SALOME.
Poor Papa!
SHEBA.
Poor, dear Papa!
GEORGIANA.
[_Shaking TARVER._] I'm speaking to you--Field-Marshal.
TARVER.
Madam, you are addressing an invalid.
DARBEY.
We shall be happy to receive your representative in the morning. At
present we are on duty.
TARVER.
On heavy duty.
DARBEY.
Guarding the ruins of the "Swan" Inn. You mustn't distract our
attention.
GEORGIANA.
Guarding the ruins of the "Swan," are you? [_Calling._] Tris! Sir
Tristram! [_SIR TRISTRAM appears._] Tris, I'm a feeble woman, but I
hope I've a keen sense of right and wrong. Run these outsiders into
the road, and let them guard their own ruins.
[_SALOME and SHEBA shriek, and throw themselves at the feet of TARVER
and DARBEY. clinging to their legs._
SALOME.
No, no. Spare him!
SHEBA.
You shall not harm a hair of their heads.
[_SIR TRISTRAM twists TARVER'S wig round so that it covers his face.
The gate bell is heard ringing violently._
GEORGIANA, SALOME _and_ SHEBA.
What's that?
SALOME.
It will wake Papa!
SHEBA.
Stop the bell!
[_GEORGIANA runs to the door and opens it._
SALOME.
[_To TARVER and DARBEY._] Fly!
[_TARVER and DARBEY disappear through the curtains at the window._
SHEBA.
[_Falling into SALOME'S arms._] We have saved them!
GEORGIANA.
Oh, Tris, your man from the stable!
SIR TRISTRAM.
Hatcham!
GEORGIANA.
[_Calling._] Hatcham!
[_HATCHAM, carrying the basin with the bolus, runs in
breathlessly--followed by BLORE._
HATCHAM.
Oh, Sir Tristram!
GEORGIANA _and_ SIR TRISTRAM.
What is it?
HATCHAM.
The villain that set fire to the "Swan," sir--in the hact of
administering a dose to the 'orse!
GEORGIANA.
Nobbling our Dandy?
SIR TRISTRAM.
Where is the scoundrel?
HATCHAM.
Topping the constable's collared him, Sir--he's taken him in a cart to
the lock-up!
GEORGIANA _and_ SIR TRISTRAM.
Oh!
BLORE.
[_In agony._] They've got the Dean!
END OF THE SECOND ACT.
THE THIRD ACT.
The first scene is the interior of a country Police Station, a quaint
old room with plaster walls, oaken beams, and a gothic mullioned
window looking on to the street. A massive door, with a small sliding
wicket and an iron grating, opens to a prisoner's cell. The room is
partly furnished as a kitchen, partly as a police station, a copy of
the Police Regulations and other official documents and implements
hanging on the wall. It is the morning after the events of the
previous act.
_HANNAH, a buxom, fresh-looking young woman, in a print gown, has been
engaged in cooking while singing gayly._
HANNAH.
[_Opening a door and calling with a slight dialect._] Noah darling!
NOAH.
[_From another room--in a rough, country voice._] Yaas!
HANNAH.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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