Dandy Dick: A Play in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
Dandy Dick: A Play in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
English drama -- 19th century
You'll have your dinner before you drive your prisoner over to
Durnstone, won't ye, darling?
NOAH.
Yaas!
HANNAH.
[_Closing the door._] Yaas! Noah's in a nice temper to-day over
summat. Ah well, I suppose all public characters is liable to
irritation. [_There is a knock at the outer door. HANNAH opening it,
sees BLORE with a troubled look on his face._] Well I never! Mr. Blore
from the Deanery! Come in! You might knock me down with a----!
BLORE.
[_Entering and shaking hands mournfully._] How do you do, Mrs.
Topping?
HANNAH.
And how is the dear Dean, bless him; the sweetest soul in the world?
BLORE.
[_To himself._] Good gracious! She doesn't know of hour misfortune.
[_To HANNAH._] I--I 'aven't seen him this morning!
HANNAH.
Well, this is real kind of you, calling on an old friend, Edward. When
I think that I were cook at the Deanery seven years, and that since I
left you, to get wedded, not a soul of you has been nigh me, it do
seem hard.
BLORE.
Well, you see, 'Annah, the kitchen took humbrage at your marryin' a
policeman at Durnstone. It was regarded as a messyliance.
HANNAH.
Well, now Mr. Topping's got the appointment of Head Constable at St.
Marvells, what's that regarded as?
BLORE.
A rise on the scales, 'Annah, a decided rise--but still you've honly
been a week in St. Marvells and you've got to fight your way hup.
HANNAH.
I think I'm as hup as ever I'm like to be.
BLORE.
'Owever, Jane and Sarah and Willis the stable boy 'ave hunbent so far
as to hask me to leave their cards, knowin' I was a callin'.
[_He produces from an old leather pocket-book three very dirty pieces
of paste-board, which he gives to HANNAH._
HANNAH.
[_Taking them in her apron with pride._] Thank 'em kindly. When's
their evening?
BLORE.
We receive on Toosdays, at the side gate. And 'ow are you, my dear?
[_Kissing her cheek._
HANNAH.
Don't, Edward Blore!
BLORE.
Don't! When you was Miss Hevans there wasn't these social barriers,
'Annah!
HANNAH.
Shut up! Noah's jealous of the very apron-strings what go round my
waist. I'm not so free and 'andy with my kisses now, I can tell you.
BLORE.
Then "what is friendship but a name!" But Mr. Topping isn't indoors
now, surely!
HANNAH.
[_Nodding her head._] Um--um!
BLORE.
Why, he took a man up last night!
HANNAH.
What of it?
BLORE.
Why, I thought that when hany harrest was made in St. Marvells, the
prisoner was lodged here honly for the night and that the 'ead
Constable 'ad to drive 'im over to Durnstone Police Station the first
thing in the morning.
HANNAH.
That's the rule, but Noah's behindhand to-day, and ain't going into
Durnstone till after dinner.
BLORE.
Then the prisoner is now hon the premises!
HANNAH.
Yes, he's in our cell.
BLORE.
Ah! And where is the hapartment in question?
HANNAH.
The cell? That's it!
BLORE.
[_Looking round in horror._] Oh!
HANNAH.
The "Strong-box" they call it in St. Marvells.
BLORE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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