Dandy Dick: A Play in Three ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
Dandy Dick: A Play in Three Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
English drama -- 19th century
Oh, my goodness, honly fancy! [_Whimpering to himself._] And 'im
accustomed to his shavin' water at h'eight and my kindly hand to
button his gaiters. Oh, here's a warnin'!
HANNAH.
Whatever is the matter with you, Edward?
BLORE.
'Annah, 'Annah, my dear, it's this very prisoner what I 'ave called on
you respectin'.
HANNAH.
Oh, then the honor ain't a compliment to me, after all, Mr. Blore?
BLORE.
I'm killing two birds with one stone, my dear.
HANNAH.
[_Throwing the cards into BLORE'S hat._] You can take them back to the
Deanery with Mrs. Topping's comps.
BLORE.
[_Shaking the cards out of his hat and replacing them in his
pocket-book._] I will leave them hon you again to-morrow, 'Annah. But,
'Annah deary, do you know that this hunfortunate man was took in our
stables last night.
HANNAH.
No, I never ask Noah nothing about Queen's business. He don't want
_two_ women over him!
BLORE.
Then you 'aven't seen the miserable culprit?
HANNAH.
Lor' no. I was in bed hours when Noah brought 'im 'ome. I take no
interest in it all. They tell us it's only a wretched poacher or a
petty larcery we'll get in St. Marvells. My poor Noah ain't never
likely to have the chance of a horrid murder in a place what returns a
Conservative. My joint's burning.
[_Kneeling to look into the oven._
BLORE.
But, 'Annah, suppose this case you've got 'old of now is a case
what'll shake old England to its basis! Suppose it means columns in
the paper with Topping's name a-figurin'! Suppose as family readin',
it 'old its own with divorce cases!
HANNAH.
Hullo! You know something about this arrest, you do!
BLORE.
No, no, I don't! I merely said suppose. I merely wish to encourage
you, 'Annah; to implant an 'ope that crime may brighten your wedded
life.
HANNAH.
[_Sitting at the table and referring to an official book._] The man
was found trespassing in the Deanery Stables with intent--refuses to
give his name or any account of 'isself.
BLORE.
[_To himself._] If I could honly find hout whether Dandy Dick had any
of the medicine it would so guide me at the Races. What am I to do? It
doesn't appear that the 'orse in the stables--took it, does it?
HANNAH.
[_Looking up sharply._] Took what?
BLORE.
Er--took fright. You're sure there's no confession of any sort, 'Annah
dear?
[_As he is bending over HANNAH, NOAH TOPPING appears. NOAH is a
dense-looking ugly countryman, with red hair, a bristling heard, and a
vindictive leer. He is dressed in ill-fitting clothes, as a rural
Police Constable._
NOAH.
[_Fiercely._] 'Annah!
HANNAH.
[_Starting and replacing the book._] Oh don't! This is Mr. Blore from
the Deanery come to see us--an old friend o' mine!
[_BLORE advances to NOAH with a nervous smile, extending his hand._
NOAH.
[_Taking BLORE'S hand and holding it firmly._] A friend of hern is a
friend o' mian!
BLORE.
I 'ope so, Mr. Topping. I thank you.
NOAH.
She's gettin' me a lot o' nice noo friends this week, since we coom to
St. Marvells.
BLORE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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