Humorous stories; Reporters and reporting -- Fiction; Women authors -- Fiction
All my life I had envied the loungers in the parks—those silent, inert
figures that lie under the trees all the long summer day, their shabby
hats over their faces, their hands clasped above their heads, legs
sprawled in uncouth comfort, while the sun dapples down between the
leaves and, like a good fairy godmother, touches their frayed and
wrinkled garments with flickering figures of golden splendor, while
they sleep. They always seemed so blissfully care-free and at
ease—those sprawling men figures—and I, to whom such simple joys were
forbidden, being a woman, had envied them.
Now I was reveling in that very joy, stretched prone upon the ground,
blinking sleepily up at the sun and the cobalt sky, feeling my very
hair grow, and health returning in warm, electric waves. I even dared
to cross one leg over the other and to swing the pendant member with
nonchalant air, first taking a cautious survey of the neighboring back
windows to see if any one peeked. Doubtless they did, behind those
ruffled curtains, but I grew splendidly indifferent.
Even the crawling things—and there were myriads of them—added to the
enjoyment of my ease. With my ear so close to the ground the grass
seemed fairly to buzz with them. Everywhere there were crazily busy
ants, and I, patently a sluggard and therefore one of those for whom
the ancient warning was intended, considered them lazily. How they
plunged about, weaving in and out, rushing here and there,
helter-skelter, like bargain-hunting women darting wildly from counter
to counter!
“O, foolish, foolish antics!” I chided them, “stop wearing yourselves
out this way. Don’t you know that the game isn’t worth the candle, and
that you’ll give yourselves nervous jim-jams and then you’ll have to go
home to be patched up? Look at me! I’m a horrible example.”
But they only bustled on, heedless of my advice, and showed their
contempt by crawling over me as I lay there like a lady Gulliver.
Oh, I played what they call a heavy thinking part. It was not only the
ants that came in for lectures. I preached sternly to myself.
“Well, Dawn old girl, you’ve made a beautiful mess of it. A smashed-up
wreck at twenty-eight! And what have you to show for it? Nothing!
You’re a useless pulp, like a lemon that has been squeezed dry. Von
Gerhard was right. There must be no more newspaper work for you, me
girl. Not if you can keep away from the fascination of it, which I
don’t think you can.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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