English fiction -- 20th century; English wit and humor; Imaginary letters; Letters in literature
I arrived at Lanuvium last night. The Court are here for the summer;
that is to say, the Emperor, the Empress, the Heir Apparent, and the
Emperor’s nephew, Ummidius Quadratus, and the Senator who is on duty.
As soon as I arrived I was taken by Eclectus, the Chamberlain, to my
apartments, which are small, but from which one obtains a beautiful
view of the Alban Hills. I was told that I would be expected to come to
supper, and that I must take care not to be late, as the Emperor was
punctual to a minute, and the water clocks in the villa were purposely
an hour fast according to ordinary time.
A few minutes before the hour of supper a slave was sent to fetch me,
and I was ushered into a large room, opening on to a portico from
whence you have a gorgeous view of the whole country, where the
Emperor and his family meet before going into the dining-room.
I had never seen the Emperor before. He is short and looks delicate
and a great deal older than he really is. His eyes have a weary
expression, and the general impression of the man would be one of great
benevolence and dignity were it not marred by a certain stiffness and
primness in his demeanour. When he greets you with great affability,
you say to yourself, “What a charming man!” Then he stops short,
and it is difficult, nay, impossible, to continue the conversation.
After a prolonged pause he asks you a question or makes some remark
on the weather or the topics of the day. But he does not pursue the
subject, and the result is a succession of awkward pauses and a general
atmosphere of discomfort.
Whether it be from the reserve which at once strikes you as being
the most salient feature of his character, or whether it be from the
primness and the slight touch of pedantry which are the result of the
peculiar way in which he was brought up, there is a certain lack, not
of dignity, indeed, but of impressiveness in the man. He strikes you
more as a dignified man than as a dignified monarch. Indeed, were I
to meet Marcus Aurelius in the streets of Rome or Athens, dressed as
a simple mortal, I should be inclined to take him for a barber who
catered for the aristocracy. As it was, when I was first introduced
into that ante-room and saw the Emperor for the first time, a wild
longing rose in me to say to him, “I will be shaved at half-past eight
to-morrow morning.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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