A life, they say, may be considered as a point of light which suddenly
appears from nowhere, out of the blue. The point describes a luminous
geometrical figure in space-time; and then just as suddenly disappears.
(Interesting to have seen the lights disappearing from Space-Time
during one of the big battles—Death dowses the glims.) Well, it
happens to us all; but our vanity is interested by the hope that the
rather tangled and not very luminous track we made will continue to
shine for a few people for a few years. I suppose Winterbourne’s name
does appear on some War Memorial, probably in the Chapel of his Public
School; and, of course, he’s got his neat ration of headstone in
France. But that’s about all. Nobody much minded that he was killed.
Unassertive people with no money have few friends; and Winterbourne
hadn’t counted much on his scanty flock, least of all on me. But I
know—because he told me himself—that he had rather relied on four
people to take some interest in him and his fate. They were his father
and mother, his wife and his mistress. If he had known what actually
occurred with these four at the news of his death I think he would
have been a little shocked, as well as heartily amused and perhaps
a bit relieved. It would have freed him from certain feelings of
responsibility.
* * * * *
Winterbourne’s father, whom I knew slightly, was an inadequate
sentimentalist. Mild, with an affectation of gentility, incompetent,
selfishly unselfish (i.e., always patting himself on the back for
“renouncing” something he was afraid to do or be or take), he had a
genius for messing up other people’s lives. The amount of irreparable
harm which can be done by a really “good” man is astounding. Ten
astute rogues do less. Old Winterbourne messed up his wife’s life by
being weak with her; messed up his children’s lives by being weak and
sentimentalish with them and by losing his money—the unforgivable sin
in a parent; messed up the lives of his friends and clients by honestly
losing their money for them; and messed up his own most completely.
That was the one thing he ever did with complete and satisfactory
thoroughness. The mess he got his life into would have baffled an army
of psychologists to unravel.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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