England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Sailors -- Fiction
“Never mind about my face,” I ses, very sharp. “You mind wot you’re
doing with that beer. You’ll ’ave it over in a minute.”
The words was ’ardly out of my mouth afore ’e gave a lurch and spilt
his pint all over me. From ’ead to foot I was dripping with beer, and I
was in such a temper I wonder I didn’t murder ’im; but afore I could
move they both pulled out their pocket-’ankerchers and started to rub
me down.
“That’ll do,” I ses at last, arter they ’ad walked round me
’arf-a-dozen times and patted me all over to see if I was dry. “You get
off while you’re safe.”
“It was my mistake, mate,” ses the chap who ’ad spilt the beer.
“You get outside,” I ses. “Go on, both of you, afore I put you out.”
They gave one look at me, standing there with my fists clenched, and
then they went out like lambs, and I ’eard ’em trot round the corner as
though they was afraid I was following. I felt a little bit damp and
chilly, but beer is like sea-water—you don’t catch cold through it—and
I sat down agin to wait for George Tebb.
He came in smiling and out o’ breath in about ten minutes’ time, with
the key in ’is ’and, and as soon as I told ’im wot had ’appened to me
with the beer he turned to the landlord and ordered me six o’ rum ’ot
at once.
“Drink that up,” he ses, ’anding it to me; “but fust of all give me the
box, so as I can pay for it.”
I put my ’and in my pocket. Then I put it in the other one, and arter
that I stood staring at George Tebb and shaking all over.
“Wot’s the matter? Wot are you looking like that for?” he ses.
“It must ha’ been them two,” I ses, choking. “While they was purtending
to dry me and patting me all over they must ’ave taken it out of my
pocket.”
“Wot are you talking about?” ses George, staring at me.
“The box ’as gorn,” I ses, putting down the ’ot rum and feeling in my
trouser-pocket. “The box ’as gorn, and them two must ’ave taken it.”
“Gorn!” ses George. “Gorn! My box with twenty-five pounds in, wot I
trusted you with, gorn? Wot are you talking about? It can’t be—it’s too
crool!”
He made such a noise that the landlord wot was waiting for ’is money,
asked ’im wot he meant by it, and, arter he ’ad explained, I’m blest if
the landlord didn’t advise him to search me. I stood still and let
George go through my pockets, and then I told ’im I ’ad done with ’im
and I never wanted to see ’im agin as long as I lived.
“I dare say,” ses George, “I dare say. But you’ll come along with me to
the wharf and see the skipper. I’m not going to lose five-and-twenty
quid through your carelessness.”
I marched along in front of ’im with my ’ead in the air, and when he
spoke to me I didn’t answer him. He went aboard the ship when we got to
the wharf, and a minute or two arterwards ’e came to the side and said
the skipper wanted to see me.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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