England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Sailors -- Fiction
“We shall see,” said the other, smiling. “We don’t want to interfere
with anybody’s comfort; we want to make them happier, that’s all. A
little more kindness between man and man; a little more consideration
for each other; a little more brightness in dull lives.”
He paused at the corner of the street, and, with a hearty handshake,
went off. Mr. Billing, a prey to somewhat mixed emotions, continued on
his way home. The little knot of earnest men and women who had settled
in the district to spread light and culture had been angling for him
for some time. He wondered, as he walked, what particular bait it was
that had done the mischief.
“They’ve got me at last,” he remarked, as he opened the house-door and
walked into his small kitchen. “I couldn’t say ‘no’ to Mr. Purnip.”
“Wish ’em joy,” said Mrs. Billing, briefly. “Did you wipe your boots?”
Her husband turned without a word, and, retreating to the mat, executed
a prolonged double-shuffle.
“You needn’t wear it out,” said the surprised Mrs. Billing.
“We’ve got to make people ’appier,” said her husband, seriously; “be
kinder to ’em, and brighten up their dull lives a bit. That’s wot Mr.
Purnip says.”
“You’ll brighten ’em up all right,” declared Mrs. Billing, with a
sniff. “I sha’n’t forget last Tuesday week—no, not if I live to be a
hundred. You’d ha’ brightened up the police-station if I ’adn’t got you
home just in the nick of time.”
Her husband, who was by this time busy under the scullery-tap, made no
reply. He came from it spluttering, and, seizing a small towel, stood
in the door-way burnishing his face and regarding his wife with a smile
which Mr. Purnip himself could not have surpassed. He sat down to
supper, and between bites explained in some detail the lines on which
his future life was to be run. As an earnest of good faith, he
consented, after a short struggle, to a slip of oil-cloth for the
passage; a pair of vases for the front room; and a new and somewhat
expensive corn-cure for Mrs. Billing.
“And let’s ’ope you go on as you’ve begun,” said that gratified lady.
“There’s something in old Purnip after all. I’ve been worrying you for
months for that oilcloth. Are you going to help me wash up? Mr. Purnip
would.”
Mr. Billing appeared not to hear, and, taking up his cap, strolled
slowly in the direction of the Blue Lion. It was a beautiful summer
evening, and his bosom swelled as he thought of the improvements that a
little brotherliness might effect in Elk Street. Engrossed in such
ideas, it almost hurt him to find that, as he entered one door of the
Blue Lion, two gentlemen, forgetting all about their beer, disappeared
through the other.
“Wot ’ave they run away like that for?” he demanded, looking round. “I
wouldn’t hurt ’em.”
“Depends on wot you call hurting, Joe,” said a friend.
Mr. Billing shook his head. “They’ve no call to be afraid of me,” he
said, gravely. “I wouldn’t hurt a fly; I’ve got a new ’art.”
“A new wot?” inquired his friend, staring.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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