Bildungsromans; Germany -- Social conditions -- 1918-1933 -- Fiction; Young men -- Germany -- Fiction
“To us? Oh, perhaps we shall perish as well. They can also murder
people in our position. Only we shall not be entirely wiped out.
The will of the future will realize itself from what remains of our
influence, or with the aid of those of us who survive. The will of
humanity will make itself felt, which our Europe has for a long time
past tried to drown in its sale yard of scientifically manufactured
articles. And then it will be seen that there is nothing in common
between the will of humanity and that of our present-day communities,
of the states and peoples, of the societies and churches. But what
nature wills with man, is written in the individual few, in you and in
me. It is found in Jesus, in Nietzsche. For these (the only important
currents of thought which naturally can alter their course each day)
there will be place when the present-day communities break up together.”
It was late when we made a halt before a garden by the river.
“We live here,” said Demian. “Come and see us soon! We shall expect
you.”
I cheerfully wended my long way home through the night, which had
become cold. Here and there brawling students were lurching through
the town. I had often felt, sometimes with a feeling of privation,
sometimes with scorn, the contrast between their curious sort of
gaiety and my lonely life. But now, tranquil and strong in a sense of
secret power I felt as never before how little that affected me, how
far removed was their world from mine. I reminded myself of officials
of my native town, worthy old gentlemen, who clung to memories of the
semesters they had passed in drinking, as they would to memories of a
blissful paradise, and who practised a cult, calling up reminiscences
of the vanished “freedom” of their University life with all the
seriousness which some poet or other romantic would devote to an
account of his childhood. Everywhere the same! Everywhere they sought
“liberty” and “happiness” behind them, in the past, for fear of being
reminded of their own responsibility, of being warned they were not
striking out for themselves, but merely going the way of all the world.
Two or three years passed in drinking and jollification, and then they
crept under the common shelter and became serious gentlemen in the
service of the state. Yes, it was rotten, our whole system was rotten
and these student sillinesses were less stupid and not so bad as a
hundred others.
However, when I reached my distant dwelling and went to bed, all these
thoughts had flown. Everything else was in suspense as I looked forward
to the fulfillment of the promise made to me that day. As soon as I
wished, in the morning if I liked, I could see Demian’s mother. Let
the students hold their drinking bouts and tattoo their faces, let the
world be rotten and on the brink of ruin--what had that to do with me?
I was waiting for one single thing, that my fate might meet me in a new
picture.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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