_Horace_.--Julius Caesar Scaliger! He was, I presume, a dictator in criticism. _Mercury_.--Yes, and he has exercised his sovereign power over you. _Horace_.--I will not presume to oppose it. I had enough of following Brutus at Philippi. _Mercury_.--Talk to him a little. He'll amuse you. I brought him to you on purpose. _Horace_.--Virgil, do you accost him. I can't do it with proper gravity. I shall laugh in his face. _Virgil_.--Sir, may I ask for what reason you cast your eyes so superciliously upon Horace and me? I don't remember that Augustus ever looked down upon us with such an air of superiority when we were his subjects. _Scaliger_.--He was only a sovereign over your bodies, and owed his power to violence and usurpation. But I have from Nature an absolute dominion over the wit of all authors, who are subjected to me as the greatest of critics or hypercritics. _Virgil_.--Your jurisdiction, great sir, is very extensive. And what judgments have you been pleased to pass upon us? _Scaliger_.--Is it possible you should be ignorant of my decrees? I have placed you, Virgil, above Homer, whom I have shown to be-- _Virgil_.--Hold, sir. No blasphemy against my master. _Horace_.--But what have you said of me? _Scaliger_.--I have said that I had rather have written the little dialogue between you and Lydia than have been made king of Arragon. _Horace_.--If we were in the other world you should give me the kingdom, and take both the ode and the lady in return. But did you always pronounce so favourably for us? _Scaliger_.--Send for my works and read them. Mercury will bring them to you with the first learned ghost that arrives here from Europe. There is instruction for you in them. I tell you of your faults. But it was my whim to commend that little ode, and I never do things by halves. When I give praise, I give it liberally, to show my royal bounty. But I generally blame, to exert all the vigour of my censorian power, and keep my subjects in awe. _Horace_.--You did not confine your sovereignty to poets; you exercised it, no doubt, over all other writers. _Scaliger_.--I was a poet, a philosopher, a statesman, an orator, an historian, a divine without doing the drudgery of any of these, but only censuring those who did, and showing thereby the superiority of my genius over them all. _Horace_.--A short way, indeed, to universal fame! And I suppose you were very peremptory in your decisions? _Scaliger_.--Peremptory! ay. If any man dared to contradict my opinions I called him a dunce, a rascal, a villain, and frightened him out of his wits. _Virgil_.--But what said others to this method of disputation?