Colonel Tempest looked once round the room, and then sat feebly down. It
was as if for days he had been staring at a blank sheet, and now a dark
slide had been suddenly taken from the magic lantern. The picture was
before him in all its tawdry distinctness. _He knew what he had done._
Colonel Tempest was not a radically bad man. Who is? But there was in
him a kind of weakness of fibre which consists in being subservient to
the impulse of the moment. The effects of a feeble yielding to impulse
are sometimes hardly to be distinguished from those of the most
deliberate and thorough-paced sin.
He was conscious of good in himself, of a refined dislike to coarseness
and vice even when he dabbled in it, of vague longings after better
things, of amiable, even chivalrous, inclinations towards others,
especially towards women not of his own family. In his own family,
where there had always been, even in his mother's time, some feminine
weakness or imperfection for a manly nature to point out and ridicule,
of course courtesy and tenderness could not be expected of him.
Thus at each juncture of his life he was obliged to justify what he
would have called his failings, what some would have called sins, by
laying the blame on others, and by this means to account for the glaring
discrepancy between the inward and spiritual gracefulness of his
feelings and the outward and visible signs of his actions.
A man with such good impulses, such an affectionate nature, cannot be a
sinner. If there was one thing more than another that Colonel Tempest
thoroughly believed in, it was in his affectionate nature. He might have
his faults, he was wont to say, but his heart was in the right place. If
things went amiss, the fault was in the circumstance, in the
temptation, in the unfortunate character of those with whom his life was
knit. Weakness has its superstition, and superstition its scapegoat. His
father had spoilt him. His wife had not understood him. His brother had
played him false. Swayne had tempted him.
What have not those to answer for who teach us in language, however
spiritual, however orthodox, to lay our sins on others--on _any other_
except ourselves!
After the first shock of panic, of terror lest he had done something for
which he might eventually have to suffer, Colonel Tempest struggled back
to the well-worn position, now clutched with both hands, that he had
been betrayed in a moment of passion by a fiend in human shape, and
that, if--anything happened, Swayne was the most to blame.
Still they were dreadful days at first--dreadful weeks in which he
suffered for Swayne's sin. And Swayne seemed to have disappeared for
good--or perhaps for evil.
And then--gradually--inasmuch as nothing had power to affect him for
long together, the horror lightened.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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