Madeleine had been long in the habit of presenting the names of her most
eligible acquaintances of the opposite sex to the favourable
consideration of the Almighty, without whose co-operation she was aware
that nothing matrimonially advantageous could be effected, and in whose
powers as a chaperon she placed more confidence than in the feeble
finite efforts of a kind but unworldly mother. She had never so far felt
impelled to draw His attention to the spiritual needs of younger sons.
"Every woman has an enormous influence for the time over a man who is in
love with her," said Di, who seemed to have frozen perceptibly. "It is
nothing peculiar. It is one of the common stock feelings on such
occasions. The question is, Do you really care for him?"
Madeleine shivered a little, and then suddenly burst into uncontrollable
weeping. Di was touched to the quick. Loss of self-control sometimes
moves reserved people profoundly. They know that only an overwhelming
onslaught of emotion would be able to wrest their own self-control from
them; and when they witness the loss of it in another, they think that
it must have been caused by the same amount of suffering.
"I think you are very unkind, Di," Madeleine said, between her sobs.
"And I always thought you would be the one to sympathize with me when I
was engaged. And I have chosen the bridesmaids' gowns on purpose to suit
you, though I know Sir Henry's niece, that little fat Dalrymple with her
waist under her arms, will look simply hideous in it. And I wrote to you
the _very_ first! I think you are very unkind!"
"Am I?" said Di, gently, as if she were speaking to a child; and she
knelt down by the little sobbing figure and put her arms round her.
"Never mind about the bridesmaids' gowns, dear. It was very nice of you
to think how they would suit me. Never mind about anything but just this
one thing: Do you think you will be happy if you marry Sir Henry
Verelst?"
"Others do it," sobbed Madeleine. "Look at Maud Lister, and she hated
Lord Lentham--and he was such a dreadful little man, with a mole, worse
than---- But she got not to mind. And I've been out nine years. You are
only twenty-one, Di. It's all very well for you to talk like that; I
felt just the same when I was your age. But I shall be twenty-eight this
year; and you don't know what it feels like to be getting on, and one's
fringe not what it was; and always having to pretend to be glad when one
is bridesmaid to girls younger than one's self, and seeing other girls
have _trousseaux_, and thinking, perhaps, one will never have one at
all. I don't know how I could bear to live if I was thirty and was not
married!"
Di was silent for a moment from sheer astonishment at a real declaration
of feeling from one who felt, and lived, and talked, and dressed
according to a social code fixed as the laws of the Medes and Persians.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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