The other drawers bore record. There were small relics of girlhood--ball
cards, cotillon ribbons, a mug with "Marion Fane" inscribed in gold on
it, a slim book on confirmation. "One of darling Spot's curls" was
wrapped in tissue-paper. John did not even know who Spot was, except
that from the appearance of the lock he had probably been a black
retriever. Her childish little possessions touched John's heart. He
looked at each one, and put it tenderly back.
Some of the drawers were empty. In some were smart note-paper with faded
networks of silver and blue initials on them. In another was an
ornamental purse with money in it and a few unpaid bills. John wondered
what his mother would have been like now if she had lived. Her sister,
Miss Fane, had a weakness for gorgeous note-paper and smart work-baskets
which he had often regarded with astonishment. It had never struck him
that his mother might have had the same tastes.
He opened another drawer. More fancy-work, a ball of silk half wound on
a card, a roll of vari-coloured embroidery, and, thrust in among them, a
half-opened packet of letters. The torn cover which still surrounded
them was addressed to Mrs. Tempest, Overleigh Castle, Yorkshire.
Inside the cover was a loose sheet which fell apart from the packet,
tied up separately. On it was written, in a large cramped hand that John
knew well--
"I dare say you are wise in your generation to prefer to break with me.
'Tout lasse,' and then naturally 'on se range.' I return your letters as
you wish it, and as you have been kind enough to burn mine already, I
will ask you to commit this last effusion to the flames."
The paper was without date or signature.
John opened the packet, which contained many letters, all in one
handwriting, which he recognized as his mother's. He read them one by
one, and, as he read, the pity in his face gave place to a white
indignation. Poor foolish, foolish letters, to be read after a lapse of
eight and twenty years. John realized how very silly his poor mother had
been; how worldly wise and selfish some one else had been.
"We ought to have been married, darling," said one of the later letters,
dated from Overleigh, evidently after her marriage with Mr. Tempest. "I
see now we ought. You said you were too poor, and you could not bear to
see me poor; but I would not have minded that one bit--did not I tell
you so a hundred times? I would have learnt to cook and mend clothes and
everything if only I might have been with you. It is much worse now,
feeling my heart is breaking and yours too, and Fate keeping us apart.
And you must not write to me any more now I am married, or me to you. It
is not right. Mother would be vexed if she knew; I am quite sure she
would. So this is the very last to my dearest darling Freddie, from poor
Marion."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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