SHWINEFELT. (_To YOKLE._) Des is de besht business os du noch ny bisht. Ich bin sure os see in de Five Valley Co. gait. Der Dr. fixed de bobbeera all recht. Of course mir missa een bazawla. Er will $25 for des, ovver sell kenna mir awe afforda zu gevva! (_To DR._) Och, Dr., du brouchsht net so pertickler sy. Sell is shon long ganunk dorich dee motions gonga. DR. (_To GRANNY._) Sell doots. GRANNY. Wos? DR. Sell doots. Now kent der eich widder setza. GRANNY. Denksht es wart now goot? DR. Ich will eich eppes gevva for dee levver. De levver shoft net. GRANNY. Wos? DR. (_Louder._) Ire levver shoft net recht. GRANNY. Ferwas net? (_Enter IKE, listens._) DR. (_Loud._) I, dee goll de shoft ivvershich, und won deer shnouft, no pressed der—der—_diaphragm_ uf der _duodenum_ und sell mocht eich shmertza in dee _bronikle_ tubes. Fershtate deer? IKE. (_Aside._) Gott im himmel! Wos der Dr. net so feel wase! GRANNY. O, yaw! Sell fershtain ich wohl! DR. Well, (_motions with fingers on palms, etc._) now mist deer eppes hovva dos dorich der _esophagus_ gait und dorich der _pyloric orifice_, no kommets in der _duodenum_, un shoft uf dee _bronikles_ dorich dee _pneumogastrie nerve_. (_Spits and takes chew._) IKE (_Aside._) All mechtiger! Ich hob geglaubt sell letsht date 'n ferwariga! DR. (_Hunts in saddle-bags._) Dorich dee _pneumogastric nerve_—und—und—gook! do is es! des is fom Brown sina mixtures. GRANNY. Wos! (_Coughs._) DR. (_Yells in her ear_) Zway tayleffle full 4 mols dogs. GRANNY. Feer tayleffle full zway mols dogs. Yaw well. DR. (_Louder._) Nay, 2 taylefflle full 4 mols dogs! GRANNY. Aw nochts? DR. Yaw, aw 4 mol nochts! GRANNY. Won mer ovver shloft! DR. No nemmt mer’s yusht drey [3] mole. GRANNY. Wos? DR. (_Louder._) I no shloft mer! GRANNY. O! Wos mainsht don for dem Awdorn tay for’s kolt. DR. Seller is aw goot. GRANNY. Ich drink olly ovet en cuply foll. Derf ich grumbeera soop essa do dazu? (_Tastes medicine and sets it down. IKE sneaks up and tastes also, makes faces._) IKE. (_Aside._) Es shmokt graut os wee der tay! Phuy! DR. O, yaw! (_YOKLE and SHWINEFELT going through a dumb show as if conversing and figuring out a problem in arithmetic._) SHWINEFELT. Well, Dr., ich denk mer missa gay. IKE. Duckter, mol do! Ich hob do so en wortzel. Waisht do wos forichy os es is! Ich glaub os des gute wair for der mawga. (_Aside._) By sourkrout! DR. Wo husht’s grickt? IKE. I, es woxt drous im bush. (_DR. smells at it, looks at it, bites and tastes._) DR. Des is fon der wisa shlonga worzel. IKE. (_Laughing and moving off._) Ah, ha, ha, ha, ya, ha! Sis yo en gedarrter sei shwontz! He, ha, ya, ha, ho, ho, ho!—etc. (_Curtain descends._) ACT II. (_Two years are supposed to have elapsed. Costumes should be changed as to be noticed._) SCENE I.—_Brownschweiger’s sitting room. Enter Yokle and Henner Hoffman._ HENNER. Es mus eppes gadu sei. Du bazawlsht mer yo ken interessa may und es sayd shlecht ous.