Cowboys -- Fiction; Short stories; Western stories; Women -- Fiction
“Well!” says a voice, and I woke up. There is “Ricky” Henderson setting
on his bronc, looking at us. “What’s the matter with you fellers? I
helped rope your broncs yesterday when they came back to town, and
they’re tied to the rack in front of the Eureka—or were last night.”
“The matter with us?” asks Muley mean-like. “That’s our business, Ricky.
Who told you to tie up our broncs in Paradise? Next time you leave ’em
alone and let ’em come home. _Sabe?_”
“Yeah?” snorts Ricky, riding away. “With their tails behind them, eh?
All right, _Little Bo-Peep_.”
“_Bo-Peep_, eh?” whispers Chuck, wiggling his ears. “Mamma mine!”
“Our broncs are in Paradise,” mentions Telescope. “Three miles more,
comrades.” We hobbles along on sore feet for a while, and then Chuck
says—
“Say, Telescope, where was you aiming to take the lady? And what was
your big scheme?”
“Out to the ranch, Chuck. I figured on dressing her up in our clothes
and hiring her out as a male teacher. _Sabe?_ Figured we’d slip one over
on them three old pelicans, and then they’d have to keep her—or never
hear the last of it. It was a good idea. If that little runt of a Warner
had sense enough to leave the team tied,” adds Telescope a little later.
“You didn’t need to throw your hat on the ground and whoop like a
drunken Indian,” reproves Muley. “You’re to blame, Telescope.”
“Yes,” says I. “You and Telescope has to argue like a pair of fools.”
“Oh, you wasn’t in the argument, was you?” sneers Telescope. “You three
grocery-store punchers make me tired.”
“You cut out that runt talk,” says Chuck. “I’d rather be small and
shapely than to be so tall that the buzzards roost in my hair. You think
you’re a lady-killer, Telescope, and this is the one time when you
likely qualify. Maybe the jury will adjudge so.”
“Yes, and he swore aloud before her,” says I. “He talked around her like
she was his wife.”
“She smiled at me,” grins Chuck sweetlike, and Muley snorts:
“Smiled! Laughed, Chuck. Do you think for a minute that a person like
her would smile at critters like you three? That woman’s got a soul.”
“Where do you qualify with soulful women, Muley?” asks Telescope. “Since
when has the fair sex designated a hunk of lard as the target for
soulful glances? Of course, if you designated a runt like Chuck or a
squint-faced _hombre_ like Hen Peck—”
Love has cut a breach in the Four Disgraces. Cupid has poisoned his
arrows, and we forgets friendship ties. Maybe it was an accident—maybe
not, but anyway we ain’t gone far when Muley steps on Chuck’s ankle.
Chuck yowls like a tom-cat and slaps Muley right in the face. Telescope
grabs Chuck by the neck, and I kicks Telescope’s feet out from under
him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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