France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
In this retrospection she was clearly conscious of the gradual change
that had taken place within her. Pascal had corrected her heredity, and
she lived over again the slow evolution, the struggle between the
fantastic and the real in her. It had begun with her outbursts of anger
as a child, a ferment of rebellion, a want of mental balance that had
caused her to indulge in most hurtful reveries. Then came her fits of
extreme devotion, the need of illusion and falsehood, of immediate
happiness in the thought that the inequalities and injustices of this
wicked world would he compensated by the eternal joys of a future
paradise. This was the epoch of her struggles with Pascal, of the
torture which she had caused him, planning to destroy the work of his
genius. And at this point her nature had changed; she had acknowledged
him for her master. He had conquered her by the terrible lesson of life
which he had given her on the night of the storm. Then, environment had
acted upon her, evolution had proceeded rapidly, and she had ended by
becoming a well-balanced and rational woman, willing to live life as it
ought to be lived, satisfied with doing her work in the hope that the
sum of the common labor would one day free the world from evil and
pain. She had loved, she was a mother now, and she understood.
Suddenly she remembered the night which they had spent in the threshing
yard. She could still hear her lamentation under the stars—the cruelty
of nature, the inefficacy of science, the wickedness of humanity, and
the need she felt of losing herself in God, in the Unknown. Happiness
consisted in self-renunciation. Then she heard him repeat his creed—the
progress of reason through science, truths acquired slowly and forever
the only possible good, the belief that the sum of these truths, always
augmenting, would finally confer upon man incalculable power and peace,
if not happiness. All was summed up in his ardent faith in life. As he
expressed it, it was necessary to march with life, which marched
always. No halt was to be expected, no peace in immobility and
renunciation, no consolation in turning back. One must keep a steadfast
soul, the only ambition to perform one’s work, modestly looking for no
other reward of life than to have lived it bravely, accomplishing the
task which it imposes. Evil was only an accident not yet explained,
humanity appearing from a great height like an immense wheel in action,
working ceaselessly for the future. Why should the workman who
disappeared, having finished his day’s work, abuse the work because he
could neither see nor know its end? Even if it were to have no end why
should he not enjoy the delight of action, the exhilarating air of the
march, the sweetness of sleep after the fatigue of a long and busy day?
The children would carry on the task of the parents; they were born and
cherished only for this, for the task of life which is transmitted to
them, which they in their turn will transmit to others. All that
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