France -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
remained, then, was to be courageously resigned to the grand common
labor, without the rebellion of the ego, which demands personal
happiness, perfect and complete.
She questioned herself, and she found that she did not experience that
anguish which had filled her formerly at the thought of what was to
follow death. This anxiety about the Beyond no longer haunted her until
it became a torture. Formerly she would have liked to wrest by force
from heaven the secrets of destiny. It had been a source of infinite
grief to her not to know why she existed. Why are we born? What do we
come on earth to do? What is the meaning of this execrable existence,
without equality, without justice, which seemed to her like a fevered
dream? Now her terror was calmed; she could think of these things
courageously. Perhaps it was her child, the continuation of herself,
which now concealed from her the horror of her end. But her regular
life contributed also to this, the thought that it was necessary to
live for the effort of living, and that the only peace possible in this
world was in the joy of the accomplishment of this effort. She repeated
to herself a remark of the doctor, who would often say when he saw a
peasant returning home with a contented look after his day’s work:
“There is a man whom anxiety about the Beyond will not prevent from
sleeping.” He meant to say that this anxiety troubles and perverts only
excitable and idle brains. If all performed their healthful task, all
would sleep peacefully at night. She herself had felt the beneficent
power of work in the midst of her sufferings and her grief. Since he
had taught her to employ every one of her hours; since she had been a
mother, especially, occupied constantly with her child, she no longer
felt a chill of horror when she thought of the Unknown. She put aside
without an effort disquieting reveries; and if she still felt an
occasional fear, if some of her daily griefs made her sick at heart,
she found comfort and unfailing strength in the thought that her child
was this day a day older, that he would be another day older on the
morrow, that day by day, page by page, his work of life was being
accomplished. This consoled her delightfully for all her miseries. She
had a duty, an object, and she felt in her happy serenity that she was
doing surely what she had been sent here to do.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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