CAPT. H. Well, as I was going to say--about two months ago I put into Plymouth with my first cargo of herrings, and there I got into company with an old gentleman with a bald head, green spectacles, and an only daughter--the smartest-looking craft I ever clapped eyes on! Well, finding I couldn't forget her, I determined to follow her to London, got here this morning, called on the old gentleman, made an offer of my hand and my herrings, when, muskets and marlinspikes, what d'ye think he told me? That the young woman I was sweet upon was already engaged to be spliced to some loblolly lubber or other at Cambridge, that she'd never even clapped her precious eyes on! ARABEL. Rather unfortunate, I must confess. CAPT. H. Yes, especially as, in my opinion, it's all owing to _you_ that I've been cut adrift! ARABEL. To _me?_ CAPT. H. Yes, they must have found out that I, Captain Bellerophon Hardaport, had got a sister in the fancy chip and straw bonnet line, who isn't _quite_ so particular as to the number of her admirers as she might be. ARABEL. That's my business. CAPT. H. Never mind; now I _am_ here, I'll soon clear the decks of the whole crew of 'em. I began with an impertinent young jackanapes just now, that I found squinting at you through your shop window, in Cranbourne-alley. I haven't done with that fellow yet; I know the cut of his jib, and if I ever do come alongside of him again, if I don't blow him clean out of the water, at the first broadside, my name ain't Hardaport. ARABEL. You may blow him wherever you may think proper. I know nothing of the young man. CAPT. H. (_satirically_) Of course not! (_here a loud noise as of furniture falling and smashing of glass heard from room, R. 2 E.--looking at ARABELLA, who starts violently and looks alarmed_) Well, if Mrs. Longshanks, or Strongshanks, or whatever her name is, don't pay for what she breaks, you'll have the worst of the bargain all to nothing. I'll have the old woman out! (_making a movement towards door_) ARABEL. (_trying to stop him_) No, no! CAPT. H. I tell you I will! (_the CAPTAIN breaks from her, runs into room, and immediately returns, dragging on TRIPTOLEMUS, who is dressed in one of ARABELLA'S gowns, with shawl and bonnet, and veil drawn over his face_) TRIPTOLE. (_assuming a woman's voice, and turning his head away_) I'm a married woman, sir, with a husband, sir, and ten children. CAPT. H. Hold your stupid old tongue, do! and let me have a look at your figure head. (_trying to pull him round_) TRIPTOLE. Is this the way you treat a poor lone widow with fourteen children? CAPT. H. Fourteen! just now you said ten! In a word, old lady---- TRIPTOLE. Good morning! (_making for door_) CAPT. H. Pshaw! (_pulling him back_) _Enter PHOEBE, hurriedly._ PHOEBE. (_to ARABELLA_) Here's your charwoman, Mrs. Sheepshanks, wants to know if she can come up? (_not noticing ARABELLA, who, by signs, tells her to hold her tongue_)