Drawing Rooms, Second Floor, and Attics: A Farce, in One ActMorton, John Maddison
General
Drawing Rooms, Second Floor, and Attics: A Farce, in One Act
Morton, John Maddison
Comedy plays; English drama -- 19th century
POLICEMAN. Ugh! Well, as I don't suppose you mean to give the wind in
charge, and as I don't see how I could take it into custody if you
did, I shall be off.
_Exit at door, L. C._
JONATH. Come along, Phoebe, come along, I say.
PHOEBE. (_looking anxiously towards window_) Yes, but let me finish
picking up the clothes first.
JONATH. I'll help you--there. (_they put linen into basket_) And now
come along. (_takes hold of one end of the basket and PHOEBE of the
other_)
PHOEBE. (_aside_) Poor dear Triptolemus! what will become of him?
JONATH. Now, come along, will you?
_Exit with PHOEBE, door L. C._
SCENE SECOND.--_Third Floor--A small comfortably furnished
Apartment--table and chairs. On the table are implements of the bonnet
making business, work, &c., &c.--door, L. 3 E.--another door,
R. 2 E.--at R. C., a fireplace, practicable--at L. C., a
window--candles on table. Loud rapping heard from without at door,
L. 3 E._
ARABEL. (_from door R. 2 E._) I'm coming!
(_she enters in a fashionable evening dress, very much exaggerated,
which she is in the act of fastening behind--knocking repeated_)
ARABEL. Don't be in such a hurry; I can't let anybody in till I've
hook-and-eyed myself. (_going to door L._) Who's there?
PHOEBE. (_without_) It's only I--Phoebe.
ARABEL. (_opening door, L. 3 E.--PHOEBE enters hurriedly_) How you
frightened me, to be sure! But--(_seeing PHOEBE who is fidgetting, and
looking anxiously towards the fireplace_) What's the matter, Phoebe?
PHOEBE. No-thing; you haven't heard anything drop, have you? I
mean----
ARABELLA. Drop? not I! What do you mean?
PHOEBE. Why--I---- (_aside_) Then he's still sticking in the chimney?
Poor, dear Trip! he must be a regular nigger by this time!
ARABELLA. Well, I must go and finish dressing!
(_goes out again, at door, R. 2 E.--PHOEBE watches her anxiously out,
then runs to fireplace, and calls up the chimney_)
PHOEBE. Triptolemus! Triptolemus! are you still there?
TRIPTOLE. (_from chimney_) Yes! Whoever takes this house will have to
take me as one of the fixtures.
PHOEBE. There's nobody here. You can come down! Make haste--
(_impatiently_) make haste! (_here one or both of TRIPTOLEMUS'S legs
appear hanging down, and swaying about, as if trying to find a resting
place, at the same moment, a knocking is heard at the door,
L. 3 E.--alarmed_) There's somebody coming! You must get up
again--make haste!
TRIPTOLE. Oh, bother! (_kicking his legs violently about--knocks down
the fire irons, which are standing on each side of the fire place--the
legs are then suddenly drawn up, and disappear_)
_ARABELLA enters suddenly, R. 2 E., sideways as before._
ARABEL. What a dreadful noise! (_she has her pork-pie hat on, and
carries her shawl over her arm--here the knocking is repeated louder_)
Ah! there he is, at last! (_calling_) Come in, Mr. Sharp, come in.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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