then I'm well out of it! Goodness gracious! (_wipes his face with the clean linen_) what can I have done to this sanguinary vampire? The only thing I can think of, is that he may have been poorly at Cambridge, and that I may have sent him pills that made him poorlier! PHOEBE. (_without_) Now, uncle, I never can carry down that large basket of clothes by myself--do come and help me! (_comes in at little door, L. C._) TRIPTOLE. That voice! PHOEBE. (_stumbling over the linen which TRIPTOLEMUS has thrown about stage_) Heyday! who can have been tumbling all the nice clean linen about? One of those horrid cats, I'll be bound! TRIPTOLE. (_imitating the mewing of a cat_) Miow, miow! PHOEBE. There he is. (_turning and seeing TRIPTOLEMUS_) No--mercy on us! it isn't a cat--it's a man! Help! thieves! police, police! (_screaming_) TRIPTOLE. Hush! don't make a noise! Phoebe, don't you know me? I'm Triptolemus--your own Triptolemus, just arrived from Cambridge to see you, by the flue--I mean the train. PHOEBE. Triptolemus! how did you get here? TRIPTOLE. I'll tell you another time. Phoebe, if you love me, tell me the address of the nearest magistrate, or show me his chimney pot, that'll do as well. PHOEBE. What do you mean? TRIPTOLE. That my life is in jeopardy--that I'm in danger of being torn to pieces, or swallowed whole--one or the other, perhaps both, if you don't save me.--Ah, a door! (_about to run to small door, L. C._) PHOEBE. No, no! you'll be sure to meet uncle Jonathan, and he has sworn to murder you if he catches you here. TRIPTOLE. Goodness gracious! I've only spoken to three of the male population of London since I've been in it, and two of them seem bent on my immediate destruction! PHOEBE. (_running to door_) Ah! uncle has heard my cries for help, and he's coming up; and I declare he's got a policeman with him!--hide, hide yourself! TRIPTOLE. Where--where? here's a clothes basket, but it isn't big enough. JONATH. (_without_) This way, policeman. (_noise of steps up staircase heard--TRIPTOLEMUS dreadfully frightened begins getting out of window_) PHOEBE. Mind what you're about! you'll slip off the slanting roof and be smashed to bits! (_by this time TRIPTOLEMUS has got out of the window_) Where are you going? TRIPTOLE. I don't know. (_begins getting into the other chimney pot_) PHOEBE. (_looking out after him_) Mercy on me! what is he about? he's getting legs first into a chimney pot! Stop, stop, you'll drop into our third floor! TRIPTOLE. (_without_) I don't care! (_disappears--then suddenly shouting_) Holloa! I'm stuck fast!--help! _At this moment JONATHAN runs on at door, L. C., followed by a POLICEMAN--PHOEBE hastily draws curtain before the window_--(_this will give time to strike the slanting roof_) JONATH. Now, then, what's the matter? PHOEBE. (_pretending to be very busy picking up the linen_) Only the wind been and blown the linen about--that's all, uncle.