[Illustration: WE ARE CREDIBLY INFORMED THAT SEVERAL ENTIRELY NEW AND ORIGINAL FEATURES WILL APPEAR IN REVUES PRODUCED THIS SEASON. THERE WILL BE, FOR INSTANCE:-- A SCENE IN PARIS; A SCENE IN HONOLULU; A SCENE IN THE OLD VILLAGE; A SCENE IN THE STATES (_HUMOROUS_); A NOVEL THIRTY-MINUTE SKETCH; A £500,000 SPECTACLE; A RATHER DARING SCENE IN AN ARTIST'S STUDIO, COMPLETE WITH MODEL, AND A SCENE AT A FANCY-DRESS BALL, COMPLETE WITH "SPECIALITY DANCE"; NOT TO MENTION SOME EXTREMELY ORIGINAL CROSS-TALK; A DELIGHTFULLY DAINTY OLD-WORLD INTERLUDE; A FEW SUBTLE POLITICAL ALLUSIONS, _AND_ A GRAND PAGEANT OF BRITISH SPORTS.] [Illustration: _The Pugnacious Gentleman:_ "BUT 'E BIN AN' CALLED ME A 'UN.'" _The Peacemaker:_ "WELL, HE MAY HAVE MEANT IT QUITE KINDLY-LIKE, BILL. IT AIN'T AS IF WE WAS STILL AT WAR WITH THE DIRTY 'OUNDS."] [Illustration: THE JOURNEY: A DIALOGUE IN ENGLISH. The Start. 1 hour. 2 hours. 3 hours. 4 hours. 5 hours. 6 hours. 7 hours. 8 hours. 8 hours 59 minutes. "Excuse me but isn't your name Smith? Surely we met at the Robinsons' yesterday?" 8 hours 59½ minutes. "Of course--you're Jones aren't you? I was sure I recognised you when I got in." 9 hours. Arrival at destination.] [Illustration: "I TRUST YOU'LL EXCUSE ME MENTIONING IT, MY GOOD FELLOW, BUT THAT IS THE RIGHT ENTRANCE--ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE ROAD."] [Illustration: THE BROTHERHOOD OF MUSIC] [Illustration: _Professor's Wife:_ "SEPTIMUS, THE THAW HAS BURST THE PIPES." _Professor:_ "NO, NO, MARIE. AS I'VE HAD OCCASION TO EXPLAIN TO YOU EVERY YEAR SINCE I CAN REMEMBER, IT'S THE FROST THAT BURSTS THE PIPES--_NOT_ THE THAW."] [Illustration: THE PRICE OF EFFICIENCY. IN THE DAYS WHEN LAWN TENNIS-- WAS ONLY A GAME-- SERVING USED TO BE REALLY-- QUITE-- GOOD-- FUN. BUT NOW-- THAT-- IT'S-- BECOME-- A SERIOUS BUSINESS-- OF COURSE-- THINGS-- ARE-- DIFFERENT.] [Illustration: "WILL I TAKE MY HAT OFF?-- CERTAINLY-- I'M SURE-- I DON'T WANT-- TO BE A NUISANCE-- TO ANYBODY."] [Illustration: 1914. 1920. THE SPREAD OF EDUCATION] [Illustration: "MY DEAR FELLOW, YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ANYTHING LIKE THAT." "NO--DARE SAY NOT--GET AWAY FROM MOST OF THE MIDGES, THOUGH."] [Illustration: _If you're thinking of painting the picturesque little village of Saltsea-- make sure-- before you start-- that you don't choose-- the day of the annual regatta._] [Illustration] [Illustration: WHEN THE BEST YOU CAN HOPE FOR IS A DRAW-- --IT IS, OF COURSE-- --ROTTEN BAD FORM-- --TO-- --WASTE TIME-- --DELIBERATELY-- BUT CAN THERE BE ANY HARM-- --IN-- --PUTTING-- --ON-- --A BOWLER-- --WHO-- --TAKES-- --A-- --SOMEWHAT-- --LONGER-- --RUN THAN USUAL? QUITE CRICKET] [Illustration: "HAVE YOU HEARD BROWN'S STORY OF HOW HE SCORED OFF A TAXI-DRIVER THIS MORNING?"