Bildungsromans; Psychological fiction; Young women -- Fiction
In the doorway the dark figure still stood. It turned and all at once
had a face; and was not Charlie but Julian. She sprang back thinking:
‘He mustn’t see me here, spying;’ and in the agitation of trying to slip
away unobserved, the dream broke.
There was a dream of playing some game among them all in the next door
garden, and of Charlie stopping suddenly, and crawling away with a weak
fumbling step, his hand on his heart.
‘He’s got a weak heart.’
‘Ah, then he won’t go to the front.’
‘No, he’s quite safe.’
She woke up happy.
But sometimes Charlie had been to the front and had come back with that
feebleness and sickness upon him. He was going to die of it. He came
all pale into the schoolroom and stopped, leaning against the big oak
cupboard. He put his hand on his heart, sighing and moaning, looking
about him in appalling distress. He said:
‘I feel ill. I don’t know what it is.... I’d like to consult my
brother.’
He had the face of a stranger, an emaciated and elderly man,--nobody in
the least like Charlie; but it was he. He shuffled out again, almost too
weak to move, looking for Julian, who would not come. In horror-struck
groups the others watched him. He was dying beyond a doubt. She woke,
aghast.
* * * * *
It was at the close of a day in February. Outside, where the gentle dusk
glimmered on rain-wet branches, the bird-calls were like sudden pale
jets of light, coming achingly to the mind; and all at once the sun,
like a bell, struck out a poignant richness, a long dark-golden evening
note with tears in it, searching all the land with its fullness and
dying slowly into an obscurer twilight. The tree-tops were quiet against
the sky. There was no leaf upon them: yet, in that liquid mauve air they
stirred in her a sudden soft pang, a beating of the heart, and were, for
a moment, the whole of the still hidden spring.
She stood staring through the window; and wars and rumours of wars
receded, dwindling into a little shadow beyond the edge of the enchanted
world.
She went out into the garden, towards the river. Ah, these shapely
boughs, this smell of buds, that tenderly-trailing blue smoke from the
rubbish heap, this air like clear greenish water, washing in luminous
tides, those few stars cast up and glowing upon translucent strands
between the riven pale deeps of clouds!... Bearing her ecstasy
delicately, she came to the bottom of the garden, where the connecting
pathway ran towards the house next door. She heard a heavy trailing step
she knew, and she waited to bid good-night to the old gardener coming
home from work.
‘Good-night, Lacey.’
His mumbling voice said from the shadows:
‘Good-night, Missie.’
‘_Lovely_ evening, Lacey.’
‘Ah, grand.’
‘How does your garden look next door?’
‘Ah, a bit forward. There’ll be frosts later, you may be bound.’
He sounded tired to-night; he was getting very old. Now for the
customary last question.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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