New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction; Romans à clef; Spouses -- Fiction; Women novelists -- Fiction
For a moment Mrs. Van Suydam was speechless. Her difficulty in
accepting this from Eva was plainly to be read on her face; but
whatever inner unsurmountable difficulty scarred her soul I could only
guess at: it might have been that of taking from Eva her own estimate
of her son. She sat with her lips implacably sealed and her lids
drooping over eyes that might be tell-tale, and had it not been for the
spots of red on her cheekbones Eva would not have been sure that she
had drawn blood; for during a period which became unbearable she said
nothing. She looked straight ahead. She might have been alone in the
room. When Eva, rushing to throw herself at her knees, cried: “Forgive
me? Forgive me?” she still did not look at her. She might not have seen
her, for all her nearness, and for all of the fact that the young woman
was weeping.
Eva laid her hand over her heart. She had got slowly to her feet and
stood hesitating near the old lady. “I’m truly sorry I said it,” she
began again to apologize. “I wish I could make you see? I don’t think
that I intend doing these things. I’m impelled by some force within
me. My life seems driven on by some force within me----” Because she
saw that Mrs. Van Suydam’s ears were closed against her, she ceased. I
realized that she wondered what to do next. But upon Mrs. Van Suydam’s
lips was now a smile of polite boredom; so she might have smiled at
simple-minded strangers who had forced their uninvited way to her
fireside and who had not there felt at home. Eva must have acknowledged
this look while she wondered at it: for how could she have bored? She
began drawing away, irresolute and looking down at the small figure in
the straight-backed chair.
At last Mrs. Van Suydam spoke. Her tone was charged with excessive
courtesy. “My dear Eva, I must ask you to leave me now. I am not
so young as I once was, and tire easily. I must lie down before I
go for my drive.” She held out her hand with a definite dismissal.
And instantly I knew that when the door of the Van Suydam mansion
should today close behind Eva it would close on all hope of a mutual
comprehension.
Eva must have so decided herself. “That’s that,” she concluded, during
the space of time that it took us to walk around the corner and along
Fifth Avenue and around another corner to the little house. “I’ve done
all I can. She’s impossible.” She enumerated the many lines along which
Mrs. Van Suydam was impossible.
As we came in sight of the little house in Eleventh Street, she made
her final effort to throw off the effects of her encounter with her
mother-in-law. “I’ll go to Hollywood, for all that,” she told me,
impressing upon her own spirit her invincible determination. She
recalled to me a recent experience: she had told Nicholas that she had
felt the rush of wings through the little house. She had said: “If I
don’t listen to those wings, what’s to become of me?” Nicholas, she
said, had merely raised one eyebrow.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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