I could not number myself with them, for if really burdened with sin I could think of nothing else. I walked about my room for a long time and I knew not what to do, for my faith was so weak that I felt a fear of approaching God. At last, however, I felt that I could offer a silent prayer to Him to teach me to pray, and He heard me. I knelt down and felt as if a thick cloud had been removed from me, and I was enabled to approach God and entreat Him to pardon and to sanctify me. Oh, dear mother! I cannot describe to you the joy I experienced when I felt that God had vouchsafed once more to hear me. “I afterwards went and told Goulburn all that I had been going through, and was cruel enough to wake him up in the midst of his night’s rest. He satisfied me very much upon the generality of the promises, and I went to bed full of joy and thankfulness. The next evening we met together and read the ‘1st Ephesians,’ and he offered up a most satisfactory prayer that the Holy Spirit might manifest Himself in our hearts, and I am most thankful to say I do believe his prayer has been heard. We have continued to read and pray together every evening, and I have found it perfectly invaluable, and I trust, dearest mother, I have been able to cast the whole burden of sin upon the Cross. I feel still, however, that my heart is corrupt before God, and I feel a want of devotion towards Him, but I can pray that I may be strengthened with might in the inner man, and I know I shall be heard. Oh how unspeakable is the love of God! Oh may Christ dwell in my heart by faith, that I, being rooted and grounded in Him, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the length and depth and breadth and height, and to know the love of Christ that passeth knowledge! I need not say that this letter is perfectly private. I should, however, have no objection to my father or Elizabeth seeing it if they wish. I will include too Sam and Catherine, but I don’t wish anybody to be told about it. “Believe me to be “Your most affectionate and grateful Son, “EDWARD HOARE.”