It seemed to me like a vision; in the highly excited state in
which I then was I almost fancied it such; and the restless
tide of thought within me took a new direction; the tears
sprung into my eyes, and I turned away, wit a softer feeling
at my heart than I had known there for a long while. As I
moved towards the door, the rustling of my gown disturbed
Edward; he called to me to come and admire the glowing colours
of the sky, where clouds over clouds of red and purple hue
were floating in an atmosphere of burnished gold. I went to
him, and we stood together for several minutes, till the sun
descending quite beneath the horizon, left the room in
comparative darkness. I then withdrew, but it was not till I
reached my room that I found I had dropt the paper on which
Henry's verses were written. I felt annoyed at this, and
retraced my steps to the library door, but before I reached
it, I met Edward, and in his hand he held the very paper I was
come in search of. I did not venture to claim it from him, but
he held it out to me at once, and said coldly, "Is this your
property?" I felt confused, neither venturing to deny, or
liking to admit the fact. In my embarrassment I muttered
something about a copy of verses that Henry had written out
for me, and, hastily stretching out my hand for the paper, I
took it, and walked away without further explanation.
On the evening of this day we were all sitting round a table,
on which work, books, and implements for writing were spread
about. Henry Lovell was even more than usually animated, and
spoke well and eloquently on a variety of subjects. Mrs.
Middleton joined eagerly in the conversation; Edward listened
attentively, but spoke seldom. I remember every word he said
that evening. Once Henry requested us all to say what it was
we hated most, and what it was we valued most. I forget what I
said, what he said, what my aunt said, but I know that to the
first question, Edward answered, _duplicity;_ and to the
second, _truth;_ and as he pronounced the word _truth_, he
fixed his eyes upon me, accidentally perhaps, but so sternly
that I quailed under his glance. A few minutes after, Henry
read aloud from a little book that was lying before him, the
following question: "Qu'est-ce que la vie? Quel est son but?
Quelle est sa fin?" "I will write my answer on the margin," he
cried, and wrote, "Jouir et puis mourir;" and then handed the
book to me. I seized the pencil, and hastily added these
words, "Souffrir, et puis mourir." Edward read them, and
looked at me less sternly than before, but with an earnest
inquiring expression of countenance; then lightly drawing a
line with a pencil across the two preceding sentences, he
wrote this one underneath them, "Bien vivre, pour bien
mourir," and gave me back the book.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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