England, My EnglandLawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
General
England, My England
Lawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Short stories, English
A queer, baffled, half-wicked look came on his face. He could not stay
long at the cottage. Suddenly he must swing on to his bicycle and
go—anywhere. Anywhere, away from the place. He would stay a few days
with his mother in the old home. His mother adored him and grieved as a
mother would. But the little, baffled, half-wicked smile curled on his
face, and he swung away from his mother’s solicitude as from everything
else.
Always moving on—from place to place, friend to friend: and always
swinging away from sympathy. As soon as sympathy, like a soft hand, was
reached out to touch him, away he swerved, instinctively, as a harmless
snake swerves and swerves and swerves away from an outstretched hand.
Away he must go. And periodically he went back to Winifred.
He was terrible to her now, like a temptation. She had devoted herself
to her children and her church. Joyce was once more on her feet; but,
alas! lame, with iron supports to her leg, and a little crutch. It was
strange how she had grown into a long, pallid, wild little thing.
Strange that the pain had not made her soft and docile, but had brought
out a wild, almost maenad temper in the child. She was seven, and long
and white and thin, but by no means subdued. Her blonde hair was
darkening. She still had long sufferings to face, and, in her own
childish consciousness, the stigma of her lameness to bear.
And she bore it. An almost maenad courage seemed to possess her, as if
she were a long, thin, young weapon of life. She acknowledged all her
mother’s care. She would stand by her mother for ever. But some of her
father’s fine-tempered desperation flashed in her.
When Egbert saw his little girl limping horribly—not only limping but
lurching horribly in crippled, childish way, his heart again hardened
with chagrin, like steel that is tempered again. There was a tacit
understanding between him and his little girl: not what we would call
love, but a weapon-like kinship. There was a tiny touch of irony in his
manner towards her, contrasting sharply with Winifred’s heavy,
unleavened solicitude and care. The child flickered back to him with an
answering little smile of irony and recklessness: an odd flippancy
which made Winifred only the more sombre and earnest.
The Marshalls took endless thought and trouble for the child, searching
out every means to save her limb and her active freedom. They spared no
effort and no money, they spared no strength of will. With all their
slow, heavy power of will they willed that Joyce should save her
liberty of movement, should win back her wild, free grace. Even if it
took a long time to recover, it should be recovered.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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