England, My EnglandLawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
General
England, My England
Lawrence, D. H. (David Herbert)
England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Short stories, English
He shared in Isabel’s literary activities, she cultivated a real
interest in agriculture and cattle-raising. For she, being at heart
perhaps an emotional enthusiast, always cultivated the practical side
of life, and prided herself on her mastery of practical affairs. Thus
the husband and wife had spent the five years of their married life.
The last had been one of blindness and unspeakable intimacy. And now
Isabel felt a great indifference coming over her, a sort of lethargy.
She wanted to be allowed to bear her child in peace, to nod by the fire
and drift vaguely, physically, from day to day. Maurice was like an
ominous thunder-cloud. She had to keep waking up to remember him.
When a little note came from Bertie, asking if he were to put up a
tombstone to their dead friendship, and speaking of the real pain he
felt on account of her husband’s loss of sight, she felt a pang, a
fluttering agitation of re-awakening. And she read the letter to
Maurice.
“Ask him to come down,” he said.
“Ask Bertie to come here!” she re-echoed.
“Yes—if he wants to.”
Isabel paused for a few moments.
“I know he wants to—he’d only be too glad,” she replied. “But what
about you, Maurice? How would you like it?”
“I should like it.”
“Well—in that case—— But I thought you didn’t care for him—”
“Oh, I don’t know. I might think differently of him now,” the blind man
replied. It was rather abstruse to Isabel.
“Well, dear,” she said, “if you’re quite sure—”
“I’m sure enough. Let him come,” said Maurice.
So Bertie was coming, coming this evening, in the November rain and
darkness. Isabel was agitated, racked with her old restlessness and
indecision. She had always suffered from this pain of doubt, just an
agonizing sense of uncertainty. It had begun to pass off, in the
lethargy of maternity. Now it returned, and she resented it. She
struggled as usual to maintain her calm, composed, friendly bearing, a
sort of mask she wore over all her body.
A woman had lighted a tall lamp beside the table, and spread the cloth.
The long dining-room was dim, with its elegant but rather severe pieces
of old furniture. Only the round table glowed softly under the light.
It had a rich, beautiful effect. The white cloth glistened and dropped
its heavy, pointed lace corners almost to the carpet, the china was old
and handsome, creamy-yellow, with a blotched pattern of harsh red and
deep blue, the cups large and bell-shaped, the teapot gallant. Isabel
looked at it with superficial appreciation.
Her nerves were hurting her. She looked automatically again at the
high, uncurtained windows. In the last dusk she could just perceive
outside a huge fir-tree swaying its boughs: it was as if she thought it
rather than saw it. The rain came flying on the window panes. Ah, why
had she no peace? These two men, why did they tear at her? Why did they
not come—why was there this suspense?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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