It was a beautiful turn given by a great lady, who, being asked where her husband was, when he lay concealed for being deeply concerned in a conspiracy, resolutely answered, “She had hid him.” This confession drew her before the king, who told her, nothing but her discovering where her lord was concealed, could save her from the torture. “And will that do?” said the lady. “Yes,” replied the king, “I give you my word for it.” “Then,” answered she, “I have hid him in my heart, where you’ll find him.” Which answer so charmed the king that he granted a free pardon to both the husband and wife. BOND TO THE DEVIL. Colonel Bond, who had been one of King Charles the First’s judges, died a day or two before Cromwell; and it was strongly reported everywhere that the Protector was dead. “No,” said a gentleman, who knew better, “he has only given _Bond_ to the devil for his further appearance.” HANGING FOR FASHION’S SAKE. Lord Mansfield, being willing to save a man who stole a watch, desired the jury to value it at tenpence; upon which the prosecutor cried out, “Tenpence, my lord! why the very fashion of it cost me five pounds!” “Oh,” said his lordship, “We must not hang a man for _fashion’s sake_.” TIME ENOUGH. An officer in the fleet of Earl St. Vincent, asked one of the captains, who was gallantly bearing down upon the Spanish fleet, “Whether he had reckoned the number of the enemy?” “No,” replied the latter, “it will be time enough to do that when we have made them strike!” POSTS AND RAILING. Mr. Pitt was forming a park about Walmer Castle, thinking to enclose it with posts and rails. As he was one day calculating the expense, a gentleman stood by, and told him that he did not go the cheapest way to work. “Why?” said the Premier. “Because,” replied the gentleman, “if you will find _posts_ the country will find _railing_.” SUPERFICIAL KNOWLEDGE. A young man, in a large company, descanting very flippantly on a subject, his knowledge of which was evidently very superficial, the Duchess of Devonshire asked his name. “’Tis Scarlet,” replied a gentleman who stood by. “That may be,” said her grace, “and yet he is not _deep read_.” JAMES THE FIRST. King James the First gave all manner of liberty and encouragement to the exercise of buffoonery, and he took great delight in it himself. Happening once to bear somewhat hard on one of his Scotch courtiers, “By my soul,” retorted the peer, “he that made your majesty a king, spoiled the best fool in Christendom!” PRECEDENCY AT THE GALLOWS. Two gentlemen, one named Chambers, the other Garret, riding by Tyburn together, said the former, “That is a very pretty tenement, if it had but a _Garret_.” “You fool!” replied Garret, “don’t you know there must be _Chambers_ first.” THE LEAST EVIL. One asked his friend, why he married so _little_ a wife? “Why,” said he, “I thought you had known that of all evils we should choose the _least_.” MANFUL ASSISTANCE.